Unleashing Success with a Single Word

What if there was one word that could take you out of the stuck, the overwhelm and the confusion? What if there is one word that could give you such a pattern interrupt that it opens up your ability to take aligned action and follow through on your desires? Well, there is, and in this episode, I'm going to tell you exactly what the word is and how to use it. Welcome, welcome, welcome to episode 72 of the Unweaving Chronic Pain podcast. I am your host, dr Andrea Moore, developer of the whole self integration method, and I am on a mission to assist empathic entrepreneurs to shift their consciousness, to heal pain and liberate their success. With the whole self integration method, you will be able to level up your energy and finally step into your personal power, so you can share the amazing gifts you have with the world in whatever way is right for you. And if you want to learn more about the whole self integration method, I have amazing news for you, because in a couple of weeks, I am going to be taking you through a workshop that is going to walk you through the four steps, to show you exactly how to do this, exactly how to liberate your success and to finally be able to step into your personal power, which is going to help you alleviate pain and is going to give you more energy, because when we walk around masking ourselves, feeling like we need to be someone else or feeling apologetic for who we are, that creates a massive amount of tension in the body and is a massive energy suck, both of which are going to greatly contribute to, or can be the cause itself of chronic pain. So if you want to learn how to get your energy back, as well as finally feel deeply connected to who you are not who society wants you to be or who your family thinks you should be then do not miss this opportunity to be walked through personally the whole self integration method. You'll be able to ask any individual questions and be supported the whole time. And did I mention, this is all free. So get signed up. Do not miss this amazing opportunity, because I do not know if or when it will happen again. Replays will be available, but only for a limited time and only if you get signed up. So get signed up on the link below that is in the show notes, and you will get all the information. 

Now, moving into today's episode, as I mentioned in the intro, there is one word that can shift you out of feeling stuck. If you have been trapped in a cycle of trying to inner work your way out of something, or thought work your way out of something, or you have been doing all this strategy and you feel like you have been taking, trying to take all the right action, and yet you just keep circling back to the same thing. Than this is for you and while, let's face it, our nervous systems are never just as easy as hey, here's this one simple fix. But allow something to give you ease when it can. Just implementing this word in the way that I'm going to be showing you can be the thing that opens you up to move forward. 

Perfectionism gets brought up a lot on this podcast because it is such a contributor to chronic pain and is going to often be the thing that blocks you from achieving your desires and sharing your gifts with the world. It will be the biggest thing that will prevent you from taking action, and perfectionism, of course, relates to what we're going to be talking about today as well, because this word can also help you break out of perfectionism. Perfectionism tricks us into thinking there is one final outcome. It tricks us into thinking there is an end product that is done and finished, whether that is who we are as a person or in a project or life in general. Right, it's like, ah, when this one thing happens in exactly XYZ fashion, then we can be complete, then we can feel a certain way. 

But the problem is is life isn't that simple? Life is incredibly dynamic. There is no one ending point, there's no one thing. You get to in life and then everything just works out. It doesn't matter if, all of a sudden, you hit your financial goal and you can retire at your dream age. We convince ourselves that, oh, that would be the case, right, that would be the perfect scenario. But you never know what's going to happen the next day. Perfectionism tricks us into thinking things are all or nothing, and the biggest place this does this is about beliefs or things in our life that must be true or have to be true all the time. And so this is the magic word that is going to solve that problem for you. And that is the word and it is so simple, a three letter word is amazing how powerful this word can be to break you out of thought spirals and break you out of fear patterns, because when we are stuck in perfectionism, we often end up feeling like if X happens, then why will happen? If I don't say yes to this thing, then that means I'm a bad person. Right, it's something like that. If my pain never goes away, then life is going to be horrible. If I cannot hit my income goal this month, then I'm going to be a failure and get evicted from my house. But here's the reason why this word and is so powerful. 

So often our instinct is, if we are thinking of thought that we know isn't serving us, the instinct is to try to go opposite and try to convince ourselves that that thought isn't true. But sometimes the thought might be true in certain circumstances or for certain people. It just might not be true for where we are right now. So there are people in this world that do not have physical safety right now and I can fully lean into the physical safety, embrace it and see my physical safety in this current moment. It's not negating the truth for someone else, for pain. 

We often also tend to make these black and white statements of well, I can't go do this thing that I love, I can't go on that hike because I will have pain. But instead, if you use the word, and you could say I can go on that hike and I may have pain. Both get to be true. Can you see how that starts to open things up? I can put out this post that feels very scary to put out and people may hate it and people may love it, and maybe no one gives a shit. Either way, right? 

It's like when we can see all of the possibilities, so often we get focused on the one thing, and so, in a case like that too, let me talk about that a little bit more, because often we go into this place of fear, whether it's about putting an Instagram post out or maybe setting a boundary with a family member or a co-worker, we go to the place of and they may retaliate in this way, or they may do this horrible thing or this thing that can happen, could be really bad. But we can't say that's not true, that's all could be true, it's all could be a possibility and it could go really well, they could respond in this really positive way, right? But so often we try to like convince ourselves of well, no, here's why this isn't going to happen, but our nervous system knows that we can't know the future. So when we start to add the and we're acknowledging the fears of our parts that aren't supportive for our action that we want to take, so we don't have to actually work as hard to necessarily make that part not fear it. We're actually just giving acknowledgement to it and then showing it another possibility or showing it the safety even if that thing does happen of yes, this person could get really mad at me and I trust that I can repair this relationship. And I trust that, if I can't repair the relationship, that I will make it through because I have that resilience, because I have this baseline level of nervous system safety that shows me that I have made it through everything life has thrown at me, because I am still here the other time I see and working really well I mean, there's about a million scenarios here but is for this very work itself. 

So often this work can feel either or and it's not, it's an and or maybe it's an and, depending on your scenario. It can feel like if I do inner work and I open to my pain, I might miss XYZ that needs medical attention, for instance, or that means that I don't know. What are you making it mean? Right, that means that I am succumbing to my pain, which isn't even true, by the way. It's like notice where you're coming to this conclusion. That doesn't feel good, that's stopping you from moving forward. But if you just add the, and it solves the problem. I can do inner work, and my inner, my very inner work, might actually be the exact thing that leads me to the doctor I need to see. Or and I can just go see a doctor too like it's, not like it's either or this work is not contradictory to see seeking medical care. That's absolutely ridiculous. In fact, this work is a beautiful adjunct if medical care happens to be needed for somebody. There also might be a moment of. I am going to accept that this pain may be exactly as it is right now and I can also actively be growing and learning and supporting my system and be open to what may shift. Because I do that. Alright, can you see where? It just keeps things open? Another place I see a lot of resistance to doing this work is it feels like well, I don't want to spend all this time dealing with things that happened in the past. And you're right. 

This work is not about living in inner work. This work is about stepping into your personal power and being able to live in your life, and sometimes, in order to do that, it requires looking back and healing old patterns, because that's what's keeping us stuck. And because we have looked at these old patterns, we can then go on to take aligned action that more fully matches our authentic selves. Can you feel where that? And just makes so much more spaciousness in room, we're not getting stuck anywhere? The second we feel stuck and trapped and final, it feels really crappy to our nervous system, which is so ironic, because that's exactly what perfectionism does is. It just traps you. It makes you feel like there's some finite thing and you cannot move forward. If something feels so finite, it's going to paralyze you. So when we add the and it just opens up spaciousness for movement, it opens up spaciousness for possibility. It starts to allow us to see the paradox that is always going to be present in our world. Just like we need to sleep and we need movement, we need to eat and we need to poop, we need to fully step into our responsibility as adults and let go of responsibilities that we have taken on that are not ours. 

There is so much benefit for being empathetic, understanding and compassionate for why somebody is taking an action that does not feel aligned for who they are and their potential as a human, and understand that sometimes too much of that can just be coddling and can actually be keeping them stuck in that pattern. Sometimes people need a fire lit under their ass and sometimes somebody needs compassion and love and space held for them. Both are true. Sometimes we need that massive morning hardcore motivation pep talk of like come on, like you're amazing, get on with your day. Like meet your potential, right. I'm not great at those kinds of pep talks, but those ones you can find them on YouTube. They're so powerful and sometimes we need to fully sit back and rest and absolve ourselves from needing to do absolutely anything. Both are true when we make room for the and we let go of it needing to be either one, because when we're stuck on it being one or the other, we are going to stay stuck. 

I bring this up because I see this happening more and more because of social media and because of our need for short, quick sound bites and I am fall under that category just as much as anybody else these days, right, because so often what I see is somebody talking about the one truth and then being attacked in the comments for not acknowledging the other truth. And here's the thing we cannot acknowledge every truth at any given time. It is impossible. We would be talking for hours and hours and hours on end. So it becomes much easier when we recognize that there's always an and that we don't need other people to be acknowledging it for us. That's why it feels so uncomfortable when you see something that's budding up against a belief that's actually just an and or where an and is needed right. If somebody is talking about pushing through something that feels hard and you're someone who has been consistently doing that and you're now burned out and desire recovery from that, that post is going to hit you and trigger you really hard. But when you can open up the and for that of like, oh, and there are times where we actually need to stop and recover and that person's not saying anything is wrong with that, then we can just let it go. It becomes much easier to see the truth of just so many different viewpoints or a time and a place for different things. 

Another place where I see this a lot is where we have I've seen a lot of attacking of people who are creating positive changes and behaviors in their lives, and this assumption of the energy it's coming from. So I'm going to bring up a specific post I saw, but this is not the only place I've seen it. I happened to see this video of some amazing transformation somebody made, and it was over a two-year process. This gentleman had went from being morbidly obese to looking quite fit and you could tell that he was radiant and glowing. And while there was absolutely no details about what he did to achieve said thing, there was like a picture every single day I don't know if anyone else saw that floating around. It doesn't look like he did anything harmful. It looks like he really took the time to care for himself. 

And the post or the comments were shockingly negative of like this is promoting diet culture. This goes against body positivity. This is just promoting gym culture in this really negative way and it was such an interesting thing because I am not a fan of diet culture and I think every body is beautiful, but doesn't that also mean that his body and how he's transformed it into is also beautiful, just as beautiful as his original body was? Like we can't say one isn't. It doesn't make any sense, body positivity is accepting all bodies. 

The concept of body positivity is that it is just saying that wherever you are right now, you are loved and whole and worthy because you are. You has nothing to do with the body you are in, and there may be people who choose to take certain actions out of love and care and nourishment for their bodies that feel really good and aligned for them. And just because it that same action doesn't feel good or aligned for your body doesn't mean that that's why they're taking it, or doesn't mean that it's wrong for them to be taking it. I just find it really fascinating where we are demonizing positive changes because so many of us have so many triggers around this because of all the patriarchal bullshit in our society. And what if both could just be true? There is a ton of diet culture and harmful messaging out there and there is so much room for us to have so much more love and support and nourishment for our bodies that comes from this really beautiful, loving, caring space. 

So I want to invite you especially if you have been doing a lot of work on deconditioning from patriarchal thoughts and behaviors and habits and shoulds is where are you now actually not allowing yourself to take an action that truly does feel aligned and supporting and loving, because it is still hooked into the patriarchal need for it. So can you say, eating this delicious, healthy meal that feels incredibly nourishing to my body, feels loving and supporting to me right now, and there might be a time in my life where I would have chosen this out of shame, and there may be people who that still would be true for right. It's just acknowledging all of the truths and we can acknowledge all of the truths. We don't have to feel so pent up and like we're fighting against everything and so defensive about everything as well. Our egos want to be right. They don't really care about what is loving and supportive for you. So I find one of the best ways to just allow your ego to be right is to agree with it and then put on the and like you're right ego, or your right part, your right thought, however you want to talk to it. 

My body may hurt worse after this hike and it feels like a deep desire, so I'm going to do it anyways. Then you're not fighting with it, it just takes the fight away. So I want you to try that Next time you're resisting a thought or trying to change it, and it feels like it's just budding up against you know. It's just creating more tension and it's like you can't get a new thought to fit in. Well, just add the ant. What if you just made the old thought true of like yeah, I really suck at sharing my voice with a world and I'm willing to learn the skill of how to do that. I am not doing a good job right now of setting up my mic and I did not take the time to do it before I recorded this podcast, and I'm going to be okay with the sound quality being subpar, because I want to get this message out there right. 

It's like both just got to be true. We can just acknowledge that we did something wrong sometimes, or acknowledge that like, oh wow, I really did not like the way that I handle that one situation. I want to be a person who handles that differently and that means I get to learn better for the next time and I'm also whole worthy and absolutely lovable. Even with that all being true, it just makes it so much easier. We don't have to convince ourselves that we're amazing person that never makes a mistake, or we don't have to sit there and be like oh, let me justify why XYZ happened. Because of this childhood trauma. 

It's just like, oh no, I did that thing and I'm going to try better next time. Or and I'm not going to try better next time because I actually don't care, right, like that gets to be there too. Don't say it if it's not true. So it's just acknowledging, like, what are multiple truths that could be present here, and do that by adding the ant. And if you're not sure what to say, just you know the thought that you're getting stuck on of like, yeah, but if this happens, then I'm going to lose my job and add the ant and just let your mind come up with the next thing. I'll let your body come up with the next thing and keep saying and until you can run out of things, because so maybe you start spiraling for a little bit and then I'm going to be living on the streets and then this and then this. Like let yourself spiral, but keep going and keep adding the and, and, and, and I can figure out a way to make it through. And I guess then I would learn how to do XYZ. And you're right, it's just just let it carry it out. Just keep adding the and to acknowledge all of the different truths, because that helps to open us up. 

Another way to use this and is that I can fully believe that I have everything that I need within me right now, and I know that having support and a deeper understanding of myself will only lead to more thriving and access to a whole range of emotions, including joy and love and connections and the ones I desire. And I know in order to access those, it's going to require intention and deep work, and I know it's all worth it, even if it's painful to do. Sometimes it's just like having all the ands. So take a moment, really reflect. Where would adding an and just take a weight off of your shoulders and provide you the spaciousness to take the next best step to move you, even if it's just an inch out of the stuckness anywhere in your life? It does not just have to be around pain. Where would adding an and liberate your energy because you no longer have to fight it? 

If you're an entrepreneur which I have found so many people who listen to this podcast are, and no worries if you aren't an entrepreneur, of course this podcast is still for you, but I tend to attract a lot of entrepreneurs, rather than trying to convince yourself that your next launch or your next consult call has to convert or has to be a success you can tap into. I fully believe I'm capable of it being a success. I fully believe in the possibility of it being a success, and if it isn't, I know I can just try again. And I know that my message is worth sharing, even if no one seems to be listening right now, when you feel how that just gives you room to play and move in your body, allows you to get unstuck. So give it a try. Let me know how it feels. 

I would love to hear what your and is. You can DM me on Instagram, dr Andrea Moore. Shoot me an email by contacting me through my website. Either is wonderful and I would love to hear from you. And if this has been helpful, please share this with a friend. Give me a rating on iTunes that is how others can find me and make sure you get signed up for the workshop that is going to be walking you through the whole self integration method so you can finally liberate your energy, your success, step into your personal power, all while alleviating your pain. I'll see you next time. 

Transcribed by https://podium.page