The Mission of Unweaving Chronic Pain

00:00 - Speaker 1
The fact that you might actually be listening to this in April or just a few days before is kind of blowing my mind. Anyone else like feel like 2024 is a flying by. I feel like that's what they say, right, the older you get, the faster time goes, and I feel like I'm feeling that. Alright. So here's the thing I have always practiced what I've preached to the best of my ability, without perfectionism, and I have really been deepening more and more into the essence of it, and it's just led me to some personal reframes or things that I'm solidifying into more, that I really just wanted to take some time to share today, because I think they're going to be incredibly valuable on your journey to getting your life back. So here's the thing On one hand, I'm the same person I've always been, but for a while it felt like I really was a completely different person. 

00:56
Since October 7th. The depths it has taken me on in this work, in discovering layers of myself and parts of myself and things my nervous system have been holding on to, is not only profound but painful, and that's just to say the least. But in examining them and working through them and bringing awareness to all of this, it really has allowed me to shed off layers that I didn't realize I was carrying as such, is with this work. Often, with deep nervous system work, subconscious work, there's things that we can't access until we either hit a new phase of our life or there's like an external event that triggers them up. It's like you can't find them otherwise, and so I think for me, october 7th triggered up so many things and so many layers that I have now been working with and working through, and it really keeps feeling like it's fundamentally shifted the way that I view the world. Like a lot of times I'm like, oh my gosh, like I feel like I have done a complete 180 on so many things and viewpoints. But as I settle in more and more, especially over the past few weeks and I'm settling in and really finding grounding to this newest version of myself, which we're always updating and growing into ourselves, by the way, there's no like one best self, even if we might use that phrase sometimes right, it's like your best self is the most updated version you have access to, but it's going to keep shifting and growing because if not, then it's either stagnant or you're going backwards. 

02:39
And so, as I've settled into it, I am realizing that I don't think it's actually changed who I am at all even though that's really what it felt like but instead it's really allowed me to access my true self in a far more profound way, without really needing to sugarcoat things as much or to have to like add on all these additional layers of like people pleasing that I didn't even recognize I was doing. It's been kind of hard to see because I talk a lot about, you know, not people pleasing that I didn't even recognize I was doing. It's been kind of hard to see because I talk a lot about you know, not people pleasing, and I realized how much I've been doing it in ways I didn't realize it, and it's also made me realize how a lot of things that people call people pleasing aren't people pleasing. But it's really respect for other people. But we will not get into that. Anyways, different conversation, not everything is people pleasing, but with all that, I really wanted to establish what my work and this podcast are all about, and I know that the way I have approached pain has shifted over the past 10 plus years, because I started out as getting my doctorate in physical therapy and you learn one way and so I, of course I evolved, but I really don't think it's shifted since I began my business in the podcast. It's only solidified. And what I want to say is that I get that my approach isn't going to be for everyone, or at least not everyone in certain phases of their journey, and since I trust you all, as sovereign adults to pick and choose what is best for you, I just wanted to take some time to bring in some clarity so you can make the best decision for yourself as to whether or not this approach aligns with your goals, your values and what you want out of life. 

04:20
A couple of weeks ago, because I felt like things were so profoundly different, I actually really started to refine and re-examine what I was about. It felt like it had changed and I kind of got worried. I was like, oh my gosh, have I completely shifted, like what I'm about? And so this started as a solely as a personal exercise for myself. But now that it's feeling so much more solid, I was inspired to share it in its most updated fashion and it turns out it really hasn't changed. But I'm just deepening into the way I'm seeing things. But before I do that, I do want to share a little bit about where I used to be in the beginnings of my journey, mainly because I think a lot of people start out here and you absolutely might be one of them, and so I want you to know that you're not alone and also be able to see the evolution that is possible for you. 

05:10
So when I first started working as a pt in 2011, I was truly around some of the most phenomenal physical therapists. I worked at an extremely well-known clinic. My, my mentors were absolutely amazing. So much experience. Everything was about constantly learning and growing and being like at the top of your game at all times. Hence the reason why I also burned out very early in my career. But the point was it was a solid PT clinic and with that and through physical therapy school, through hearing stories, I would hear the most amazing, inspiring stories. 

05:51
Right, people will share their story. Like I had years and decades of pain and pain poof. It just magically healed with physical therapy. And on top of that, I was also already really big into the self-help and the nutrition world. And it's the same thing these similar stories where I just had this one mindset shift and everything completely changed. For me, my life was immediately better, or hey, just removing this one food that I was sensitive to and, bam, everything was cured Right. I'm sure you have all heard stories like this, read testimonials like this, and it gives you so much hope and optimism and you're like, oh my gosh, like I want this too, right. So because of this, I was so insanely optimistic about everything and for everyone, like I truly felt, like I was receiving the knowledge to just heal everyone, no matter what someone was coming to me, for I really saw so much hope for a bright and vibrant future for them. I saw their wholeness, their possibility, their light and their beauty, and that has stayed solid. That remains so solidly true to this day for me, about everyone I meet. What has changed, though, however, is what has to happen for them to be able to see it and for them to be able to embrace their wholeness and really be able to live that possibility. 

07:17
You see, for a long time, I thought removing pain and struggle was the way to that. I thought it was pain and struggle that was blocking people from their best lives, that the presence of pain whether this is physical or emotional pain, by the way, from you know, maybe it's feeling bloating pains, or just, you know, the agony of being bloated, even if it's not painful, just that discomfort, right From self-esteem issues, from someone not believing in themselves, from anxiety, from maybe a chronic disease, right, I thought all of those were that those were the things that were in the way of someone accessing their whole self. And so if you could just remove that, right, bam, their best life is now possible. They now have access to their best selves, like that is how I started out seeing things. So, in physical therapy, for instance, if someone came and they had, you know, chronic knee pain, it's like, and they were, you know, miserable in other areas of their life, it's like, well, if you just fix their knee, then everything else will get better, and very quickly. 

08:21
I realized that was not the case and I do want to say in some very select cases there actually is evidence for that. Usually it's. There actually is evidence for that, or at least in the very limited exposure I have to someone, right, because if I am, if they're coming in, they're feeling miserable and I do make their knee feel better pretty rapidly. I often don't see them again, so I don't know how they go on to live their life. That's where you get the testimonial of like, oh my gosh, everything is so much better, life is amazing, blah, blah, blah. And you know I'm healed. And what you don't know is what are they going home to right? What is better for them? What's going to happen in three months for them? We never get to see that. 

09:03
I just do want to highlight, though, because and I'm highlighting this because I'm seeing a lot this might be just like a personal issue, and I feel like I probably, maybe possibly beaten this to death on this podcast, maybe not, I'm not sure sometimes what I say on the podcast versus what is in personal conversation of I've just gotten this influx of people that are reaching out for a consultation, that are really beating themselves up for thinking that there could be something physical, like they've never gone to a physical therapist, they've never actually been thoroughly evaluated, they're like but some people, other people, are apparently saying I don't know who I'm not calling anyone in particular out, but what I'm hearing people come to me with is I am supposed to believe that this is 100% mind-body pain and that it cannot be something physical, and for some of these people it doesn't sound true at all. It actually sounds like there could be something physical going on, and so, while that could mess with some people's heads, if you feel very confident in your pain being mind-body pain, trust that. Don't let what I'm saying mess that up. But if you haven't been properly evaluated, then I think this concept that's out there, that all chronic pain is mind-body is harmful. Is all chronic pain going to have a component of mind-body? Yes, absolutely 100%. 

10:20
But the power of manual physical therapy can absolutely be life-changing. I've seen it, i've-changing. I've seen it, I've done it, I've experienced it. So, too, is the power of eating in a way that is so nourishing to the body that it restores your energy and clarity. I've seen what it can do for people. I feel it when I eat in different ways. The transformative power of strengthening your body, of high quality movement, of getting good sleep, hydration, healthy relationships all of those things remain true and necessary for living a healthy, robust life. 

10:57
None of what I'm about to say is taking away any of that. However, if you are someone who has trouble accessing these things or carrying them out, or you know what to do and just can't seem to do that, then that is why you are here, because that is what we get to focus on. And so with all of this of this hope of oh there's this one magic thing out there, right For somebody you can just do this one intervention, I really quickly had my bubble burst because there were people who I couldn't find the right techniques and exercises to alleviate their pain. I felt like I was doing all the right things and it just wasn't helping them. There also are cases where someone has some permanent dysfunctions that happen that don't really have any appropriate intervention. Like you can't change someone's big toe that has fused and surgical options are pretty iffy for that. We won't go into that. 

11:55
I could do an entire rant on foot surgeries, time and place. Okay. Like I can't undo what happened to one of my patient's kneecaps that got shattered in a car accident and is being held together by internal metal like wiring and screws that do create pain in certain motions, because it's literally like a metal object is in her body and it's like rubbing up certain cases where there are that there is going to be pain that really you can't impact in some magical get rid of it way I can't change what happened to the girl who was burned with scalding water on her leg when she was a baby and now she's well. She's probably about 20 some years old now. She had a massive webbing that held her knee in a completely bent position. So imagine your knee like heel to butt right, your leg, being stuck like that for the rest of your life because the proper interventions weren't done when she was a baby. There's nothing that can be done for that. 

13:01
Also, for a subset of my clients who didn't fit any sort of textbook description that we learned in PT school, naturally because I, you know, had a tendency to beat myself up I always just assumed it was me, like, oh, I'm a bad PT because I can't fix this person. But after teaming up with my extremely skilled and competent mentors and even having them treat some of my clients so I could observe and make sure I was doing everything right, I realized it wasn't me Even when I tried to get some of these clients to go see someone else, because I just didn't feel like I had the right skill set to make them better. Many ended up coming back to me. They weren't any better, often they felt worse and they actually felt like what I had was something better to offer. The problem was at the time I didn't understand what it was that I was doing differently, that these other practitioners weren't doing. I didn't understand why people could choose me when I was barely a year or two out of school and you know, sort of knew what I was doing but was still learning over these practitioners who had 10 plus years of experience. I didn't realize that what I was offering actually didn't have that much to do with the exercises or the manual therapy I was providing. I don't think they realized it either. What I now can see is that what I was providing was something different and that's what stayed as the solid through line through my work, even if my means of providing that have become much more crystal clear and and repeatable. And now something I now understand. I couldn't see it at the time. 

14:38
So, despite all that, despite feeling like I wasn't doing enough because I couldn't see what I had, I kept learning. I kept maintaining hope. I saw, I knew there had to be possibility for myself because I was experiencing chronic pain that no one could touch at the time and for my clients, who there just seemed to be no easy answer to. So I thought if I just kept learning new techniques, new interventions, we would find that quick fix right thing that helps them be able to just go out, wake up the next day without pain and live their best life. All this to say, I know what it's like to chase treatments, to have so much hope for that upcoming appointment or that new supplement or that obscure technique that only five people in the world are trained in and, oh my gosh, they're only an hour for you, so you can totally drive to them to receive it and pay god knows how much, only to not feel any better at all. I know what that's like, and it took me years to discover that this false hope was creating so much of the suffering for myself and my clients. Because if you know what that's like too, you know it puts life at a standstill. Everything is in limbo or on hold, or you're just going through the bare minimum motions until right. 

16:01
Once I see this person, then I'll be able to do this. I can't tell you how many consults or people I've spoken to who will say well, I have an MRI coming up, it's not for three more months, and you know, once I get the results, then maybe I can start with you. And it's like what? Like it makes no sense, you're just going to wait for three months for an MRI that's probably going to show you jack shit. By the way, again could have a whole other topic about that. The MRI isn't going to do anything. The MRI is not going to make your pain better. This is a blanket statement, not true in every case. If the MRI truly is, if they felt fine scheduling it three months from now, it means that it's not something that's likely going to show something where you're going to get some immediate answer Right. 

16:43
It's this feeling of like unto and we put off living our lives, and often unintentionally, that's what happens. It's just in this waiting game. It's like until pain is gone, until anxiety, depression, apathy are gone, until I feel motivated, then I can start doing something right. This isn't just about pain. Think about this for your whole life. I know I would cling to this feeling of like. One day I will just wake up and finally feel magically better. Then I can live up to whatever wholeness I so you know see possible for myself, and I know I know so many people feel the same, and it really took experiencing this at such a deep level after my concussion in 2013 to realize that I had things all backwards, that I was not looking at this in the right way. 

17:33
Because it turns out that moving forward, even with pain, with struggle, with apathy, with anxiety insert thing here without any motivation, without any desire to get up and go, exercise is exactly what allows you to reclaim your life. Clinging on to hope that is placed on some external savior to come in and fix you keeps you in a limbo. That only strengthens the vicious cycle of pain and keeps you in the shrink response. And if you want to learn more about that specific dynamic, the shrink response and the vicious cycle of pain, then I highly recommend you catch the replay of my masterclass that I just went into a lot of detail on that. It's in the show notes. 

18:20
Look, I will be the first to tell you and to sympathize with you and to validate the hell out of you that having pain or chronic symptoms sucks, it fucking hurts, it gets in the way, it can slow you down. Nowhere am I trying to convince anyone that pain is like amazing, you should love it. Just love your pain, right. Like I'm not trying to tell anyone that Like, of course you're pissed off at it, of course you don't want it to be there, of course. But the whole irony is is that the longer you stay in that state, the more upset you are at pain. 

18:53
If you live in that, versus you know having a mini temper, tantrum about it and then learning how to then take the next step, which is a lot of what I teach the more you try to make it go away, to run from it, to resist it, the stronger it gets. It's like getting mad at the darkness that comes when the sun goes down, like you can stay mad every single day and it's going to keep happening. And can you see how that could, over time, completely just ruin your life? That the anticipation of nighttime coming? It's going to start getting that clench in your stomach earlier and earlier. You're going to wake up pissed about that. It happened again, right, like it just takes over everything. 

19:40
Or it's like trying to ignore sleep. It comes in for a reason. Our body tells you hey, I'm tired for a reason. And the more you resist it, the stronger that feeling, the fatigue, is going to get and there's going to be massive consequences to not listening. Look, I'm a night owl. I would freaking love to stay up to 2am reading or just doing random crap in peace and quiet. I think any mom gets that. Of course I freaking would, but we all know how poorly that turns out. 

20:08
I think we can all understand that it's kind of a ridiculous thing for someone to be constantly searching for a cure for their fatigue when the answer is literally just go to bed on time and get enough sleep. But someone who is searching for supplements going to acupuncture appointments, finding all these sleep protocols and mindset reframes and nervous system work to help them feel energized during the day will literally not only endlessly be on the search, but they're gonna continue to feel worse and worse if they are not just going to sleep. And yes, there are obviously cases where that becomes very complicated. So we look at what's getting in the way of that. Of course I'm not ignoring that. I get that sleep can be a very loaded topic. 

20:49
But so even in cases where someone is kept up beyond their control maybe they're a single mom working a full-time job up half the night with a crying baby we do have to acknowledge that their circumstances do not change the body's need for sleep and recovery. We can be pissed at any injustice that led to that. Maybe baby daddy was a piece of shit and abusive and so that she was forced to be in the situation like you can be so mad at that, and rightfully so, but no amount of anger is going to change the physiological needs of her body and we can also acknowledge that we are resilient beings. So, especially in cases like that, she's gonna make it through. She's gonna make it through that rough patch and by doing that by leaving said baby daddy that I've just made up right, she is making her life better, even if she's paying for it some in the interim. 

21:46
It absolutely was the best choice for her life, and so the best way is always going to be to meet yourself where you are, without judgment or fear, and to address anything that's getting in the way of doing that. So hopefully we can all see how ignoring what the body needs it just doesn't, it just doesn't work, it's not realistic, it's it kind of keeps us in this like kid-like temper tantrum state and, as you've probably heard me say, or I think I said earlier, like I'm all for having two minute temper tantrum, you can have a 10, 10 minute time, I don't care how long. It is right like have a temper tantrum, like be be in that like super immature, like I mean no judgment when I say that right, like that really immature state where it's like this isn't fucking fair, like I don't want to have to deal this, I'm gonna get angry at it, like let it out and then you have to take the next step. No, no matter how much you don't like the messenger, ignoring it isn't going to get rid of the message, isn't going to get rid of your body's needs. And so I recognize that I was clinging on a false hope to be able to help myself or my clients get to their most aligned whole selves in a way that was relying on a quick fix, because it felt so much safer and easier. 

22:56
Like, think about it. I mean, how much easier would life be if you could just wake up without pain? I'm not denying it wouldn't be easier. How much easier would it be to all of a sudden be able to speak up for yourself and just have it come easy to set boundaries, to stop people-pleasing, to quit your job and apply for that one that you know is the right one for you, to start a business that you have been dreaming about for years. But clearly you might have some resistance to it because it's going to be a lot of work, right? How wonderful would it be to just have access to your art, your creativity, your weirdness and just put it out in the world and have it be no big deal. Here's the thing is all of those, they're all completely possible, but do you have immediate access to that ease or any of those things without needing to do the work required? That's where so many of us are going wrong, and myself included. That's where I was going wrong early on in my career. I thought it could just be easy. And here's the thing is it can be easy, but there's always work involved to getting to the ease. 

24:05
I, like I said, I was burned out early in my career. I mean, it felt so dreamy to just be able to quit my job, make my own hours right, have this business where I could make more money, work less. It was like, oh, piece of cake. And it turns out it's not a piece of cake to build, having access to that lifestyle that I wanted. I didn't realize how much work was involved in that, how much work was involved in that. Right, I was so sold on this quick fix mentality and the faster. You can see if this is you as well. I wish I saw this so much faster. Maybe you are already very aware of this and if so, awesome. But I know for me, if I could have seen this faster, faster it would have just accelerated my journey. 

24:59
Because not only is that quick fix never going to happen that way here's the piece that I think a lot of people miss is it's harmful to cling on to that. Take that example I gave of the person. It's like well, I'll wait, you know, for three months until the MRI. It keeps you not just stuck Right now. That person has missed out on three months of things that could have really snowballed into some massive positive changes. So not only do they miss out on that, but life gets smaller and smaller in the process and you will actually move further and further from your goalpost. Take an extreme case of someone who is spending most of their time in bed waiting for back pain to heal. Not only will it never heal this way, because we know it will not heal with bed rest. Each day that passes they get weaker and weaker, and that is only going to lead to more pain and struggle. They are no further from where they want it to be. Maybe they had dreams of going and getting back into CrossFit Now they're going to have to start. The weaker they are, the smaller the movements they are going to have to start with right. 

26:03
And so what I want to acknowledge is I did make the mindset shift, like in my logical brain I did recognize early in my career of not chasing quick fixes. I feel like I talked about this all the time to clients, but for myself and like within my own life, I also want to acknowledge it really has taken years of work to undo this perfectionism that's wrapped into that quick fix mentality and like all of the just the messaging I received around it, and I will still catch myself falling into the pattern at times in different ways. For me, falling into the pattern usually doesn't have anything to do with pain, but it's more about life in general. Like I just noticed the other day, I was getting really frustrated with my six-year-old for not being able to like make his own breakfast and it was just that like duh moment of how can I expect him to do this when I really haven't taken that much time to show him each individual step, to walk him through it slowly, you know, just add a little step every single day, like how could he know he hasn't been taught right? So like, obviously it's not gonna work. But yet I was getting all like worked up about it. I was getting mad at him. I was getting like mad at myself. I was getting just like, oh, it was making our morning about it. I was getting mad at him, I was getting like mad at myself. I was getting just like, oh, it was making our morning really miserable. Until I was like, oh, yes, of course. So now our mornings are looking very different as we're making different plans around how we can help him develop this skill of making breakfast himself. 

27:31
But all of this to say, in my work with pain, the goal has always been to move someone towards living their best life, and I have over a decade of evidence, not to mention being backed up by loads of research, to show that concentrating on the absence of pain as the goal will move you further from the goal. In the case of chronic pain, in the case of anxiety, of depression, it's like concentrating on the absence of the thing that you don't want. I don't want to have anxiety, I don't want to have depression, I don't want to have chronic pain or whatever insert life struggle here. I don't want to be having an argument with my six-year-old every morning. If that's the focus and that remains the focus, you will not move closer to it. 

28:14
Now, within my pain to power program, I talk about starting with the absence and how to shift it into a different lens. So it's like it can start with oh, I don't want to argue with my six-year-old and then, like you, reframe it so that way you can be moving towards something. Because what you want the focus to be is what are you moving towards, not just what are you moving away from? It's fine to want to move away from something. You just have to have something you are also moving towards, and I teach you how to do that in the Pain to Power program and so in this work, it's exactly why my mission and goal has never completely focused on healing pain. I know I'll use that term sometimes. It's kind of an easy thing to just throw in there when you can't have an entire paragraph explanation. But I've always been very resistant to the messaging of I'm going to heal your pain Because I'm not healing your pain. That would make me an external force coming in as like a savior mentality, and I know that's what keeps people in pain. Why would I offer something like that? But instead my focus is always on about moving forward and living life. 

29:18
For many, the pain healing does end up as a byproduct. When we do this, when people engage in this work, when people go through my pain to power program, when I work one-on-one with people, pretty much everybody has pain alleviation to some degree. Whether it goes away completely or is just much lower and no longer impacting their life is going to differ from person to person. There are some conditions, some injuries, some scenarios where total pain alleviation is it's just not possible and clinging on to that and waiting to live your life until it's gone, it guarantees you miss out on life. 

29:56
It doesn't mean you can't do things to make yourself feel better. You should right. If you know that getting a massage every other week brings your pain levels down, allows you to, you know, live a more functional life and that is super accessible to you and it doesn't feel like you go and you get to enjoy them and it doesn't feel like it's getting in the way of living your life, then like, of course, go, do the thing that's going to make you feel better. I think this is where people get confused with this message is it feels like, oh well, then I shouldn't do anything to make myself feel better, and that's not true at all. It's just that where is the thing that you're trying to do to make yourself feel better actually become the thing that's getting in the way of you living your life? And I think for so many, it is the focus on alleviating pain and getting rid of their pain. That is actually the very thing that is holding back their life, and I do not want to see you falling into that trap. It's a painful trap on so many elements. 

30:48
I had one client early on, back in 2014. I think she's someone who really helped me make this shift. She had Ehlers-Danlos, a long history of trauma, and she was in chronic pain for over a decade. And she was young, she was also in the Air Force and was extremely passionate about her role. She loved her job and to stay in, though, she had to pass the physical. She was too weak to do it, but she only had a couple months to prepare, and at the time, I remember holding a lot of this tension in my own system. 

31:21
I'm like is it ethical for me to help her do these movements that are creating more pain for her, and I was already playing with it, though, right, I was already having this transformation around it, so it's so funny when people come to you. I feel like it's not a coincidence. So she laid out a plan of like, basically, like I don't care about pain, I need to get stronger. However, the pain is getting in the way from from me getting stronger, so I need to. How do I do this Right? How do I do this? And so during our time together, we of course, use some like band-aid type approaches for temporary relief, but the most important part was to figure out how to modify movements to gain strength and eventually build her up to being able to do the push-ups, the sit-ups and the running she had to pass. 

32:09
I remember like the sit-ups were one of the hardest things, because they're like the old school style ones, right, where you would just like have someone hold your feet down and you're just going up and down in that way, and those would flare up her back so much, and so we had to play right. You can't if you have chronic pain. You understand that like if you flare up then and then it's so bad that you can't exercise or your muscles actually will get like weak because they're so painful that you've got to find a balance there Right. And so, after lots of working together, we actually figured out a way she could compensate and kind of do a sit up with like a different muscle groups in a pretty clever way to like leverage herself. So she was still meeting the qualifications, but she could get through them. Through them, it was just. It was such a different way than I normally work with someone which up until that point had been so emphasized on like proper technique and you know, doing them right and things, and doing them things without pain or without flaring it up. It was just about getting through them. For her, and she was on board with this. This was her idea, right, I'm not forcing her through it and also teaching her how to manage any flare-ups that were happening so that she could go and do the thing that she was so incredibly passionate about. 

33:21
After she passed, we were able to step back and work through things in a bit slower, in a way that felt more aligned with her nervous system but just think of her often and now she gets to do what she loves. And the last time I spoke to her, she was married, had a baby. She's loving life, traveling, hiking, and she's just living. Does she still have pain? Yeah, but it just isn't getting in her way anymore, not like it used to. And that, to me, is what is so incredibly inspiring, which leads into what my mission here really is, because in the whole self-integration method, the mission is to embolden those facing chronic pain, whether it's emotional or physical, to do more than just cope with it, to just manage it. 

34:11
It's even more than just pain alleviation. We are here to guide you to a life where each moment holds the promise of genuine living. Each moment allows you to step in and discover your sense of meaning, or live it out. Imagine being able to cultivate resilience and embrace life with this like unshakable zest and capacity where you can reject resignation or apathy or false hope. Even this approach is for those who are ready to step into a new way of being, not just in relation to pain, but in life itself. It's for those who refuse to let pain shrink their existence, seeking instead to turn obstacles into opportunities, without succumbing to things like toxic positivity or feeling like you're having to force yourself through it in a way that just feels like completely wrong for yourself. We are here to help you reclaim your life fully and authentically, to live it in a way that not only works for you but ignites your spirit, leaving you ready to fully engage with the world and seize each day in alignment with your true self. 

35:28
I want to invite you to sit with that for a moment, breathe it in. How does it land? Is it a hell? Yes, are there parts of you that want to say yes, but you don't even know how to be able to shift your nervous system to be able to? Are there parts of it you want to reject? Look, this work is open to anyone who wants to approach their pain and life in this way. If it isn't right for you, I get it. I know I needed to spiral for a while before I was able to fully embrace this approach and, while I never want anyone to struggle longer than they need to, I respect that and I won't be offended at all if this doesn't feel right for you, like truly, you do you boo. If this doesn't feel right for you, like truly, you do you boo. 

36:10
And I know for me the prospect of fully saying yes to my life and taking on the bigness and responsibility that comes with that, because it's a big deal that did not come easily or naturally. I wanted it and I also resisted it. It felt far easier for me to stay in a victim role, to have an easy excuse as to why I couldn't engage with the world, because, let's face it, it can be a tough world. But all of that temporary ease came at a massive cost, and I realized over time that I wasn't willing to pay the price of losing out on a life that I could fully claim in exchange for feeling the confined safety of the known, especially after I could see how rapidly it was shrinking my life and what I was missing out on. And damn, like my FOMO was way too intense in the best of ways. Like I'm so glad I had FOMO Sometimes that does not serve us, but it served me. I didn't want to miss out on life. And so those who are feeling a big hell yes to this of like I want this. I want to be able to just live my life. I'm sick and tired of everything being around managing pain Then this is for you. 

37:16
One of the reasons that this is my mission is because that claiming this was such a struggle for myself and so many of my clients. Like it's like you logically want it and there's just feels, like there's this massive disconnect. I'm like, well then, how the heck do I get this? It's not a mindset or reframe that came naturally to me. I massively wanted to actually like reject it, but no matter how much I resisted it, it has this magnetic pull on me and I kept coming back to it, even though I was like I don't know. 

37:47
It was like standing on the side of a riverbank and just so badly wanting to get to the other side and then constantly giving up because I'm like I don't understand how to cross, so I'd like, you know, walk away from it. And then I'd keep coming back because, like, I really want to be on this other side but I don't get it. And so slowly chipping through the layers that got in the way, kind of slowly building the bridge over to the other side, has allowed me to fully embrace and live it. And so I just want to say it's completely normal for that to be the case, to want it and to not know how the hell to do it or to even resist it. It's all normal, in fact. That's why you're here. That's why you're listening. 

38:25
If you knew exactly how to do it, you wouldn't be listening to this. You would have already done it right, and I still have to find my way back to this lens at which I look at life through. Give yourself permission to not be there yet. If you were there again, you wouldn't be listening. You get to have this also as a mission. You keep moving towards and learning how to build your bridge and to take the parts of this that resonate the most, and you get to leave what doesn't resonate out. 

38:50
This is never about dogma, and if it's something that you do want to embrace if you're like I, want to learn how to build this freaking bridge for myself if you're ready to be done with endlessly trying to get rid of your pain and you want to be able to actually live your life, then the pain to Power program is exactly what you're looking for. It's the only one of its kind that combines the neuroscience of pain, the nervous system and a trauma-informed approach. It's not about telling you to just get over things or push through things, because, as I've covered, we know that doesn't work, but it does still allow you to generate forward momentum in life. It's not about just hanging back either. It's the only program that teaches you how to work with your nervous system and, subconscious, to rewire it, but also to not have to spend hours with some daily routine that starts to feel like a chore or you feel like a failure because you can't seem to quite do it right. It also, though, does not indulge in endless debate of do you just need to change your thoughts or do you need to work with your nervous system, because, guess what? It's both. So I teach both, and I teach you how to differentiate between this, and this also applies to those who already know that they purely have mind body pain, and to those who might have a known or possible or, you know, you're suspecting a physical component as well. I'm never going to try to convince you that it's one or the other. Is it for some people? Yeah, sure, and we can talk about that individually to to understand what it is for you, because I do think that can obviously be helpful on an individual level, but this blanket assumption that pain must purely be mind, body is more harmful than helpful in many cases, and all of this pain to power program is built out for you, ready for you to access, and it comes with a compassionate yet fiery leader at times. That's me to support you through this work. 

40:41
This work is not to be done in a silo. It really can't be done alone. For the most part, we need another nervous system to hold space for us to model what it's like to engage with ourselves and with our pain in a different way. It's really hard to do that if like to just read a book and to you, don't get the nervous system embodiment of it. And on top of that, there is a group aspect where we have weekly group calls that are incredibly supportive, uplifting, compassionate and with like-minded people that are all dedicated to moving forward in life while healing in the process. 

41:19
Space is held for you wherever you are in your journey, and so if you're ready to reclaim your life and move out of the limbo of waiting for pain to heal, then I cannot wait to see you in pain to power. And if you aren't sure if it's right for you, no worries, let's chat. I'll be always very honest about whether or not I feel like it's the right fit, and if it doesn't feel like it is, no worries, I have a ton of resources and other referrals that I'll happily provide if I feel like that is the next best step for you. So if you're ready to stop suffering and start living, let's go. All the links are in the show notes. Or you can go to discoverdoctorandreamorecom to check out the program, or doctorandreamorecom slash schedule to book a consult call. Either way, I can't wait to see you.