The Happy & Balanced Life Recipe with Lisa M. Miller

0:00:00 - Speaker 1
Well, welcome. Welcome, lisa. I am so excited to have this conversation with you and for you to be here. 

0:00:06 - Speaker 2
Thank you for having me. I'm really looking forward to talking. 

0:00:10 - Speaker 1
Yes, and it's so interesting because I obviously met you a couple months ago and I want to get into even how we met, but I feel like I don't know a ton about your backstory. Obviously, I have your bio and stuff, but I would love you to just tell people a little bit about who you are and what got you to where you are. You know, super light, easy question to answer, I'm sure. 

0:00:31 - Speaker 2
Thank you for that. Well, i'm a mind body health specialist. I come to this from really a desperation to understand my own health issues and health health issues of my beloveds. My mother struggled with serious mental health challenges, as did many people in my family that also manifested in physical ailments and disease processes. And then when my kids were in middle school elementary and middle school they both started having some health challenges too. 

So I was a mom knowing just really at an entry point in mind body health that in addition to some generational trauma, there are little challenges every day that affect the balance of all the systems in the body and decrine GI, respiratory, nervous system. And so I really went on this dedicated search to understand how I could bring some remedies, some natural remedies and some medical remedies as a married pair, into the lives of my family. That got me started. Here I am like, 24 years later, right, never believing on this path that this was going to become a career. I was just out of real need, real serious need for answers and for some medicines wisdom medicines and physical medicines to live a healthier lifestyle. 

0:02:02 - Speaker 1
Yes, oh, that's so beautiful, and I love that you kind of are talking about bridging the two worlds too, because I feel like that's just so needed. 

0:02:10 - Speaker 2
Yeah, so, yeah, go ahead, it's my, i agree, my earliest teachers and longest term teachers are indigenous medicine people who always said the. the marriage between natural remedies and modern medicine is a really healthy marriage. We live in a time of technology and research. Why not avail ourselves of the science and the remedies that are ready for us, but always to integrate the, integrate the natural medicines also into that full recipe. 

0:02:43 - Speaker 1
That is so beautiful And I love that so much And I feel like that's, yeah, always been where I've come from, just naturally, I think, starting in the science world but also being very I don't know why, I don't know what it was, but I was always so into the more natural remedies and the holistic approach. It just always made sense. It's interesting to see where they get pitted against each other And I'm like I always would be like why can't we all get along? These actually work really well together. This isn't a. It's not a fight. Let's not create divisiveness where there doesn't need to be. So I love that. You said that That's so beautiful And so I met you doing probably the Soul Collage. Is that what it's called? Right? So just call him. 

0:03:20 - Speaker 2
Yeah, yeah, we, we, i was recruited to lead a women's circle and we were there together And as soon as you introduced yourself, well, really, when you walked in the door, i knew that I had to know you. And then, when you introduced yourself and talked about your work, it was like a, it was like a party Right. 

0:03:37 - Speaker 1
I so agree, and it's so cool that you were talking about, right, this generational trauma and just lifestyle things and things that you were seeing. that creates this physical, these physical ailments, and that's exactly where I see so much of chronic pain. is that there's? we like to focus on the physical body, and the physical body is so important. We can't leave that out of it. We also need to look at how so many other components are leading to symptoms in the physical body. 

0:04:05 - Speaker 2
Isn't it fascinating? The physical body is really one quarter of the entirety of the human experience. But when we're in pain mentally, emotionally, spiritually, physically when we're in pain, it takes up all the space in life, and not in a positive, i love myself way. So it makes a lot of sense that people would, with chronic pain or any type of traumas, feel not embodied, not ever want to really come home to a body. But the truth is the rest of physical beingness is also emotional. It's mental and spiritual. Each of those areas of our lives are meant to take up an appropriate amount of space one quarter of a living experience. Altogether, all four areas are the whole human I've never heard of put that way. 

0:04:51 - Speaker 1
That's really beautiful. I really love that, and I think you just touched on something so big too, of the like how common it is to not feel embodied, and to not be embodied when you're in chronic pain. It literally creates a dissociation in the body. What I think can be feel so confusing about that when you're in pain is this feeling of but I feel my body at all times like that's all I'm paying attention to Like why do I need to like put more focus into the body? Because it's like I feel it. I'm not curious if you feel if you're up for speaking on that of like what that different level of embodiment is, that feeling physical pain isn't the same as embodiment you know, to be in your body, to live in your body. 

0:05:33 - Speaker 2
It sounds like such a strange conversation. It sounds like such a strange concept, Like, of course I'm in my body, but you can be going through the motions of your daily life using your limbs to grab things, hold things, to walk, to get from one place to another, to sleep, to wake up, but not really inhabit all the space of the body, to really not be shining from the core of your soul, through all your cells. I remember when I first was learning to teach meditation, there was someone in my class who said I relaxed almost immediately and then I felt all my pain. Why would I want to do this again? And I was listening to one of your podcasts recently about how challenging it is to, when you realize you have pain, to want to even stick around and explore what that is. 

But the truth is we know pain is so often a message delivery system. Look at me, pay attention to me. There are so much underneath here that wants to be expressed and felt and understood and explored, And that is the last thing we want to do when we're in pain. So my work around for people is to get to a place of some balance and support and then take a look at what might be underneath those systems that are flaring up and that chronic pain cycle. When you're in deep pain is not the time to really ask those deep questions, those symbolic questions and those important questions. You need to get out of pain. 

My goal is always to help people not suffer, But then, when you get to a relative place of stability, that's a good time to ask about the messages and to do some personal work on what that means. That's been my whole path toward being happier and healthier. Now in my mid-50s, I'm happier and healthier than I was in my 20s. For sure. Everybody to feel well. The other thing, too, I want to say is each of us has the ability to heal, even when there's no cure, And to heal deeply means to come to a place of peace and a relatively pain-free lifestyle. Even if there's no complete cure, you can have deep healing on every level of your being physical, emotional, mental and spiritual. 

0:07:55 - Speaker 1
Yes, oh my gosh. I want to highlight this piece because I feel like I've had a lot of personal contention with the world Word heal, because I think it so often gets interpreted as cured And it doesn't. To me it doesn't mean the same thing, but I know I get caught up in knowing that some people think it means that. So I have a hard time saying, oh, i can guide you to heal your pain, because I think often it gets interpreted as I will then no longer have any pain And that that's not necessarily true. But a lot of it can be released and you can always feel so much better. 

And I've worked with so many people who have really complex medical issues, either from just a just a physical medical issue or even just a really complicated like autoimmune things or just stuff going on that there is, there's not going to be a cure for, there will always be a management of it And there can be so much healing that happens. But yet there's often so much resistance for some to do like this type of work because it's like, well, i have an incurable thing or well, you know, i broke my leg and it's always going to be healed, jacked up or something, and so it's always going to be like that. So what's the point? And it's like, if they're suffering in your life because of something, there's to me, there's always something that can be done to alleviate it, and it doesn't need to be this put from this place of oh, i need to fix everything, but from this place of getting curious and support and love and respect for your body. 

0:09:24 - Speaker 2
Yeah, maybe the mantra is instead of I can heal myself or cure myself. Maybe the mantra is I can help myself. Like how you know that? so simple I can help myself. I can find remedies for this. It's not going to be there's no one pill for anything, but there are so many ingredients in a healthy life recipe that can really mitigate or lessen the strength of the pain or the disappointment. And often I find, for myself and for my clients and students that pain is such a helpful barometer, whether it's physical or emotional. Pain is a barometer. Again, it's a message delivery system. There's really something important and often very rich behind what is showing up that is painful. Yes, absolutely. 

0:10:12 - Speaker 1
It's like it is here for a reason. It is here to show us something, and none of us are alone trying to figure it out. 

0:10:19 - Speaker 2
That is the humongous, most important lesson of my life I am not alone in this. And then to seek the appropriate people, space and time, resources that can really help me manage and get to a point of thriving. So I, when I get in an anxiety loop, if it lasts more than a day, it is time for me to reach out to somebody. If I these days those are my biggest challenges or it used to be for me very physical, i had so many. I had pneumonia and all kinds of other upper respiratory infections. My whole childhood I had serious autoimmune challenges, was diagnosed with Celiac disease late stage. So it's not like I don't anymore have those challenges. They're just not the things these days that show up for me, which shows me more anxiety. So I'm talking about this. 

I like to be transparent in my teaching because I am. I not only walk this road, but I'm still walking it, and we all are, aren't we all? you know each of the most evolved teachers and role models are still human. We're in human bodies, we're embodied. That's partly what it means. You have a human life and you have a human body. You are expressing your humanity in, not just from what you say and what you think and what you believe, but also you know in your very feet how you walk. What does your gait look like, what happens in your belly when you have a feeling about something one way or the other? either either a yes, everything in me feels like yes, or everything in me feels like no. That is the way to really be embodied and to live from a place of understanding that, while life is challenging, none of us are in it alone. 

0:11:56 - Speaker 1
Yes, and I love, i love so much about what you just said, and especially this not in a alone piece because I think, the way I look at it, it's like our body is holding the wisdom we need, but it doesn't mean that we're on our own to uncover that and in fact, i don't think it's possible to do it on your own and I think we just live in it. Right, if you it's can sound and feel like such a paradox, i'm like, well, if it's, if I'm holding the wisdom, then I need to do it by myself, and it's like no, but we can't see our own blind spots. We need support. We are social beings. Our nervous systems need connection. 

0:12:28 - Speaker 2
Yes, and there are paths already set up for us. You know, there's a map and a compass. We don't have to reinvent the wheel all the time. 

0:12:35 - Speaker 1
Yes, oh my gosh, yes, i love that, and I also just love what you said about maintaining the humaneness, because unfortunately, i do think some of those maps and compasses that are set up are on a path of complete transcendence of the human experience, and if anybody listens to my podcast, they know that I'm not about that because we are humans. To me that's confusing, like we can't, like a goal is not complete, not feeling right, which is, i think sometimes some of these paths are about, like almost a total dissociation from the human experience. 

0:13:06 - Speaker 2
Yes, well, it's easy to do the emotional bypass right, yes and um, this painful experience is here for my own good, so I'm just gonna fully accept it and I'm not gonna be sad about it, i'm not gonna be pissed off, uh, because it's for the growth of my soul. That's a, that's a bypass, where you want to get to the shiny place of beaning without the important foundational work of experiencing the emotions around it yes, exactly when it's like being pissed off. 

0:13:38 - Speaker 1
That it's here is part of it. It gets to be here. You get to express that and it's often just through that expression that it just moves through your system and I think we take that moving through and then it's like, oh, because it's moved through and you feel you do feel better. On the other side that it's like, oh, well, let's just skip over that, and it's like, no, no, no, you feel better because you moved it through, because you felt it, because you didn't just shove it down or try to get around it yeah, really, it's really a survival mechanism. 

0:14:05 - Speaker 2
That bypass is just to not feel the depth of what happened or what is happening in your body. If you have a disease process, you know it's really a coping mechanism. Like it's scary to really look at the truth of those things. But my dear friend who's a psychologist um, when I had a radio show and she was often a guest, or my co-pilot, uh, dr Janelle McNeill, she lives here in Lexington she would always say your emotions are like toddlers who just need attention. Welcome them with open arms to sit in your lap and to say, for baby, what's going on? so they can have their moment, so that you go, move on to other things. 

And you know, as a, as an energy healer, what I know to be true in the body about experiences and and physical pain is that to ignore what happened and you know I don't mean to reinforce the narrative of what happened in a way that's not therapeutic, but I mean to ignore it completely doesn't really gives it an opportunity to stay present in the cells of the body until it shows up in some way as an inflammatory response. So being honest about feeling your feelings is a way to allow them to move on and not be stored energetically in the physical system yes, oh, that's so beautifully said and I know you talk about these six essentials in life, like this recipe. 

0:15:28 - Speaker 1
Can you speak more about that? and I know I was like wow to six, that's, it's impressive. I tried to distill it down. 

0:15:38 - Speaker 2
I tried to distill, so you know this is what I've learned about a balanced, happy life. We can call it the happy life recipe or the balanced life recipe or the essential life recipe, but really all of us have a recipe with several ingredients that make up the details and the ways that we are most healthy and happy and so that we can thrive in our lives. And that you know we're not with a goal always to be on the highest end of happiness and health, but really with an ability to come back to center. Coming back to a center place, a place of neutrality or relative calm, is the goal of a really a happy and healthy life recipe. And it begins with recognizing that we live on planet earth, we are earth beings and we are meant to live harmoniously with nature. That is really our essential core makeup. So, whatever else we want in our lives, we are earth beings for a reason. 

And Ayurveda, the natural science from India, really the sister science to modern medicine, with a lot of natural life remedies. The word Ayurveda Sanskrit it means Ayur Ayus comes from the Sanskrit word Ayus meaning life, and Veda wisdom, so it's the science of life wisdom that includes your physical body, your emotional, mental and spiritual too. So Ayurveda says that we are, each of us, born with a constitution that is an expression of all the elements, all the building blocks of nature air, space, water, earth and fire. So, understanding what that means, we can look to those elements in nature to understand our own personal nature. If you're a person who's very anxious, it means you need a lot of calming remedies, a lot of calming ingredients in your life recipes. Some people are just born anxious. 

I was probably one of those kids and I have one kid that was born to me that way too. I have a kid with a lot of fire in her constitution. That was also me and one kid who has a lot of earth energy. That wasn't me, but I have family members with a lot of earth energy, a sister. So, living in harmony with earth, knowing what stimulates you and what calms you, what are your sensory experiences? and have you had some fresh air today? Right, like what the bubby's said, have said for generations, the grandmothers, what they've said for generations about like you need to eat, you need to sleep, you need to get some fresh air, you need to move your body. Yes, get some light, you need sunlight. It's important, it's really. We have modern science to help us understand what that means. 

0:18:20 - Speaker 1
Yes, and I love that And I love that you're touching on these different elements and that we're all born with these different constitutions, because I think it's at least I know I fell into this pattern right. It's almost like you kind of create this model human in your head and you're like I need to be that And it's just I found so much of my journey is able to has been understanding that that's the person I had in my head of who I want it to be isn't who I am Right. It shines all my shadows up of why I wasn't like that right, but it's like it's embracing what I was born with and what gifts I was given and what constitution I was given. And we are all different and why it's so important to get in touch with our own wisdom and our own bodies is because that's how we can figure out what we need. 

0:19:08 - Speaker 2
Yes, by understanding ourself. 

I love that, you know, and it makes me think about how we can emulate people who are very different from us, and we can hear them, but it doesn't mean we have to live in exactly the same way, nor can we A fish not climb a tree, but a fish can really be appreciated all its fishness. I love that. And so, in what ways do does, do you see yourself reflected in nature? Are you a fiery person? Are you a calm person? Are you a person who really has a lot of stamina? Slow, move slowly. Do you move slowly in the world? 

I'm a fast person. I talk fast, i eat fast, i like, like everything is fast. But I have family members who are very slow. My one sister is a crafter and she will, after like a month, hold up, hold up one sock. She like crocheted one sock, and I'm and I'm like what, like you spend a whole month one sock. And that's because she's like she's a marathoner. I could not run a marathon, i could do a sprint, and so I admire that quality in her. 

It's just not me. It's not for long term projects, or staying awake past my bedtime is not good for me. I need a lot of structure, i need a lot of understanding that I have a body with a constitution that has very specific needs. People with anxiety need structure and need a lot of time to disengage and be quiet, and there are some constitutions that have a lot of fire that like are always on and they don't need a lot of a lot of quiet time, and so knowing your needs and seeing how you're reflected from the natural world world is really a huge help. 

0:20:53 - Speaker 1
And I love what you said about emulating others to and just seeing how others move, because they can teach us so much. Right, like I'm also very fast paced person And that right, there's that balance of like, recognizing that that will always be me I'm never going to be like your sister, who takes a month to crochet a sock and also that there is so much to learn from those who do move slower, because when I can slow myself down, i can take that pause, and that I can learn that from them. It helps me so much because that is so essential to my being right there, balance of both Yes there you go. 

0:21:29 - Speaker 2
Both of those ingredients really add to the recipe. If I'm stressed out, i don't need another person who's fast and and energetic. I don't want to be like my sister, who's calm. She's an earth mother. I need to sit with her and feel, you know, to feel better She, and she feels better when she needs to get herself moving. So that really comes to really answers. 

The next question is what does my body need to thrive? What does my particular body need to thrive? it's wonderful to admire others, but what is my body need to thrive? what is my nervous system need? that's The most important tenants of the entire system is really the nervous system is just affects everything. So what is my nervous system need? do I need stimulation? do I need quiet time? what do I need? What does my respiratory system need? my endocrine, my GI, know that we are so miraculous and multifaceted. It's kind of amazing that we have all these systems going on all the time without our awareness. So those important ingredients are preceded by the questions about what's needed and even if you don't really know, just sitting with the question can open the path for self understanding for sure. 

0:22:45 - Speaker 1
Yes, absolutely, absolutely. 

0:22:47 - Speaker 2
And definitely. 

0:22:50 - Speaker 1
It does. Yeah, and I think it's interesting because I feel like I think so much about the nervous system And I think a lot about the GI system just because I'm a nutritional therapist and I mean what not? but but I'm like I don't think I've ever thought about what my respiratory system needs, or like my. I guess I thought about my respiratory system some because I had like gestational diabetes, but yeah, i feel like I'm like, oh, i've been like neglecting some systems. I haven't given them any thought. 

0:23:17 - Speaker 2
And maybe they haven't thought about them because they haven't really needed you, for you, those stumps, i'm just bringing them up as an example so people start really looking at the miraculous faceted beings that we are. But my guess would be for people who haven't thought about those systems because they're working kind of on autopilot Yes, and you can send them love, we can send them love, you know, and be grateful, but they don't need a whole lot of attention, they just need the gratitude from the mothership. 

0:23:46 - Speaker 1
I love it. I love it yes. 

0:23:48 - Speaker 2
And then I love to think about like, once my basic needs are managed, what do I want? What do I want? It is nearly impossible when a person is in survival mode to think beyond those vital primary needs. But once you get in a place of relative stability, then really comes the fun. What do I want from life? I have a limited amount of time in this physical body on planet Earth, So what do I want for my life? What do I want? It's a really rich and fun question. 

If you set out a survival mode to be there with it. 

0:24:26 - Speaker 1
Yes, this question, oh my gosh, for so long in my healing journey like just tripped me up so much Because I think it's so hard to even entertain that question without it like right, like ramping up so many other things in the nervous system of like, okay, so I want to travel, but if I want to travel, then how am I going to do this and this and this and this? right? So it like took so much other recognition and being with and different capacity to be able to sit with everything that even came up when I asked that question. But I love this question. 

0:24:57 - Speaker 2
Maybe it's just scary to be a question. I am no stranger to a fear of success. I remember feeling that as a teenager in high school, the pressure of what am I about, What is my life going to be about, was so daunting that I could hardly function at times. And what I wish someone had told me someone older and wiser and probably they did, and I just couldn't hear it because I was in survival mode for so long. But what I would love? maybe needlepoint it on a pillow. just be with the question. Just be with the question long enough to allow the answer to bloom in its own time. It might. it's probably not going to be next week, You know. the answer is probably not going to come next year either. 

Your life, if we're lucky, we have decades, decades of life to live. But planting the seeds of that question what do I want And what do I want my life to be about begins when we start thinking about ourselves as global citizens, as people of agency who have this miraculous, gorgeous planet and these modern opportunities You live in our part of the world, especially to intend a life and just start living it, and for the answers to start blossoming. You know, for me some of those answers have been decades, decades in the blossoming process And we know. we plant a bulb, we plant a hydrangea bulb in the fall. It sometimes doesn't bloom for for several years And then, all of a sudden, here here, it is ready in its own time. So, being with the questions, being comfortable with not knowing the answers, and being patient and having faith that those answers will come in due time. 

0:26:36 - Speaker 1
Absolutely beautiful. I love that. 

0:26:38 - Speaker 2
Then I like to ask myself and have and have my students and clients ask so what are the specific ingredients in my life recipe? Like, what are those ingredients? So I'll share some of mine to encourage people to look at their own. I need a lot of sleep. So that's first basic for me, right? So like, what is my physical body? It's wonderful to be with those big, meaningful questions, But again we're in physical bodies. What are my very basic physical needs? for me It's sleep. I don't function well if I don't have sleep. You know, my personality isn't as fun and endearing if I'm sleepless. 

So there's, you have the physical and and the less tangible part of you. They're working together. So what are my emotional needs? Like, how much support do I need? Do I need to talk? Do I need talk therapy? I personally like a creative arts process like Soul Clash. It's a way of making art that then you give a voice to, to give parts of yourself an opportunity to speak. So I really, I really like that. 

But people can come up, can people can understand, delve into this question for themselves, Like what do I, what do I really need in terms of emotional support? Do I need confidence? What do I need to do? What mental stimulation and support do I need? What does that look like for each person? It's very different for for each of us. So what stimulates me? What regulates me? Are there some chemicals out of balance that need some medicine of some sort? What are the ingredients that will keep me stable in that way? And then, what are the spiritual ingredients? That can be anything, anything. People don't have to believe in a religion in order to feel spiritually fulfilled. And if they do have a religion, does it satisfy your spiritual needs? All of those are ingredients in the specific life recipe. There may be overlap and threads that are similar with friends and family, but each of us really has our own very specific recipe with specific ingredients. 

0:28:44 - Speaker 1
Yes, oh, that's so beautiful. I'm definitely a sleep person too. Sleep, sleep Food Super important. Actually, i was talking about this today with someone. I was like how easy it is to forget to eat, which I never thought I would be the person who forgets to eat ever until I had a child, and it's like, oh yeah, feeding yourself super important, dear. Are you someone who, like, wants to eat at regular intervals? Are you more of a snack, or you know what I mean? It's like, what is even that style? Because I know that's. That's a place where I tend to fall off, and it's just so funny because you can get into this place of like, oh, my God, why do I feel dizzy, or what feels wrong with me? I feel so tired. You're like oh wait, i just haven't eaten food. 

0:29:24 - Speaker 2
Like I love how that shows up. I love how that shows up first. No, oprah. Oprah always said that life offers whispers, mm hmm, And it does so in order to not have to scream at you, and so you know, when you start feeling a little dizzy or lightheaded, like that's a whisper to look at OK, what did I? what's missing, what did I forget? so that immediately you don't kill over Totally. You get like a little a little, a little flashing bulb, something. Yes, in addition totally. 

0:29:55 - Speaker 1
And I want to let you say your other two. But I want to come back to the spiritual piece too at the end. 

0:29:59 - Speaker 2
OK, ok, do you want, ok, do you want to you? do you want to say it now? 

0:30:02 - Speaker 1
I was just going to say that I feel like this was such a missing element for so long for me and one that I really didn't want to let in. And obviously when we met, we met at a Jewish group that was organized And I feel like this is such like a new place for me of really exploring Judaism and my like, my identity as such because we mentioned generational trauma like this was such a piece that was just cut off from me and my family because, because of my grandparents' experience as Holocaust survivors, they basically took the route of how could a God do this to us? Like a total, like nope, we're not talking about religion, we don't bring in religion, just kind of complete atheism, i guess you could say. And so like that's how my dad was raised And so he never really brought it in And, interestingly enough, it was my mom who brought it in And my mom was raised Catholic But she's not Jewish. When they had us, they kind of were like, well, maybe we should have something, and it was kind of like this fluke thing that they found a really small Jewish community and started bringing it back in by basically sending us to Sunday school. 

But like beyond that, it really just wasn't, it really wasn't talked about or explored much. And I was finding, you know, in the last couple of years of justice, i was always into the spiritual aspect of things but I just always felt very incomplete. And I just feel like I've been very called back to Judaism lately And I've been uncovering just so many beautiful like practices and just wisdom And there's there's grief that comes along with it, because I'm like why come no one ever told me about this side of it? You know, like even the Judaism I was exposed to is a very cultural piece And it really didn't have a spirituality piece in it. So I guess, if you don't mind me asking, because obviously you know you're Jewish as well, like you know, we brought it into the soul collage piece. I'm not sure if you bring that in all the time, but I don't know I guess, like, where do you see that fit in for people? 

0:31:59 - Speaker 2
Well, it's such an important question And I'm I'm I'm so moved by your story and your family story And of course it makes so much sense. They left Judaism, or felt that they had to, because their survival, their very survival, was completely at stake And their goal was for their children to live, their children and grandchildren and great grandchildren to have a life without fear of being persecuted, which is the story of our people, of the Jewish people, you know, going back centuries. I have been involved in reform Jewish movement since my family moved from Montreal to Ontario and we joined a reform temple. I mean up until about age nine. It was just, it was not really we were. We were Jewish. We celebrated holidays, but there was no conversation about spirituality or what it meant to be Jewish. It was just part of our lives. 

Really, in the reform movement I came to understand how rich it was to be part of a global community. That was whose purpose was not only community but Tikkun Olam, a Hebrew word for world, world repair. And so I grew up in the Jewish youth movement, met my husband at Jewish summer camp. Our kids were campers. One was a counselor there where we met in the 80s, and so it's been an important part of my life, but I never felt safe being out as a Jewish woman even though I had that community because it's in our DNA to be worried about being exactly who we are. 

So spirituality and religion can be a really scary path for people to think about And my response to that is find what's safe and feels good and in a way that you can live with others who believe what you believe and celebrate being spiritual beings in a human body on this planet with you at the same time. Normally I don't talk a lot about Judaism in the worlds that I facilitate, because I'm trying to meet people in where they are and in as neutral a way as possible. So often I'll refer to higher power so that everybody can relate. You know I facilitate cancer support groups a lot, as trained in clinical chaplaincy, and I always want people to feel the fullness of their own connection with God. Yes, i don't want to label God. There are some people who are agnostic and I just want people to find their way to whatever is bigger than them in the world that can support their life journey. 

0:34:26 - Speaker 1
Yes, that's so beautifully said, because it's not about anyone like right thing or one belief you have to have It's. I feel like it's that feeling of being held by something bigger than you. 

0:34:37 - Speaker 2
Yes, Well. 

0:34:38 - Speaker 1
I feel like that was such an important piece and I felt like I could never like I there was such a I could feel for so long I would read about spirituality and there was this desire to believe in it And it was so that felt like there was such a disconnect, Like this sounds so nice to have this and I don't know how to have this for myself And I think I'm like, I feel like I'm not completely there yet, but it's kind of. Finally, it's amazing how I don't even I have never really talked about this, so I like don't have good words right now, but how our bodies hold onto something and we get to discover it, I guess, is what I want to say, Because, even so, like what you said about not even wanting to be like out as a Jewish woman right, Like how many people can relate to that in some other aspect of their personality? right, Whether it's a personality trait or a belief or, you know, a sexuality or just something else entirely, maybe even just being in a family of scientists and they want to be an artist, right, Like that we feel so unsafe to be this part and it never works to shut that part down. It's like it's always going to find its way out somehow. 

And I feel like Judaism has been this piece for me of like I've kind of just ignored it my whole life, like I had about my you know. It's just kind of been there and it's like, but it's like it wants to come out. I feel like I'm just finally allowing it to come out and find it and explore it in just like little pieces at a time, Like it's literally there's like not a whole. It's not like I'm like now dedicating my entire life to it, It's just like, oh, I'm going to read one prayer and just get to know it That's really interesting and just be with that for months at a time, you know, and do nothing else, like literally spend three minutes a day with it. You know it doesn't have to be the biggest big thing, but I just think it's so interesting how things are always going to find their way to you. I guess, if you're holding them, that we just can't and it never works to keep them in. 

0:36:25 - Speaker 2
That is so beautiful and moving, and you're making me think about how we really cannot ignore our DNA for all in all the ways that you're talking about It's. It's in you, judaism is in you, from your people, from generations of people before you. It's in you, it's in yourselves, it's in your lineage and so it's there, and it doesn't mean that you have to attend to it, but to recognize it's there and then make a decision is really empowering. The other thing that comes to me is how universal this conversation is. We could be talking really about anything as you mentioned, you know what do I? 

how am I shutting down a part of myself in my life by not acknowledging or exploring what's there? and then also and also, the shutdown. Yeah, i never really thought of it that way. How true it is that I've had, i've been so used to squeezing myself into a neutral framework that in those settings, i do have to shut down a part of myself. I do have to, and and you know, and it's an active service sometimes because I want people to be in the full expression and exploration of who they are, and there's a lot of anti-Semitism in the world and when I go into those settings, you know I have a goal and a mission and a job to do. But it is, yeah, it is a, it is a temporary shutdown. 

0:37:43 - Speaker 1
Yes, yes And. 

0:37:45 - Speaker 2
I have this know myself. 

0:37:47 - Speaker 1
Exactly I was going to say we had I had this conversation with someone I'll look with Carlos on this podcast for others who have heard the episode of who's a gay man and we talk about that of like we can fully own these parts of ourselves and also know that there are times and places where putting you know, like completely being out as yourself isn't safe, like it is a safety, and when survival is at stake, that like there can be a very intentional I'm going to put this part of me aside, but it doesn't there's. I feel like there's such a difference of rejecting it or repressing it versus an intentional. This doesn't need to be. This can't. This part of me can't be held with, like, the love and respect it deserves in this space. So like people don't get to see that And that of service to yourself and of service to that part, right, like you wouldn't throw. 

Like we were talking about emotions being toddlers. Right, you don't like throw a toddler in a pool that I can't swim. That's not respectful to it. Like we get to hold these parts with the attention and care that they need, and some parts may only be safe to be fully expressed in certain environments And that that's okay too, that you don't have to like show up as yourself fully in every single place at all times, because not everybody gets to see that That's like a what's I'm like it's, exactly it's like an honor for people to see certain parts of me and not everybody gets to see that, like you haven't earned, like some people don't don't earn that right. 

0:39:07 - Speaker 2
That's right, that's exactly. That's so true. I love that so much. You know when I'm thinking about this, how to have this conversation about spirituality and how it might be different from religion. For a lot of people, it's the same thing. Spirituality and religion are really the same space, held together in that same sacred space. For a lot of people, spirituality is about finding meaning in life. How do I make meaning? What is my purpose? And it can be tied to a religious path, but not, it isn't always. Sometimes in religious communities it's unknown how to even have that conversation about spirituality. It's like I remember being at summer camp as a kid and we were sitting in in the outdoor sanctuary singing and I was looking around at the trees and I was thinking I wonder if this is spiritual. I wonder if this is what spiritual means. Like you know, i was 16. I wonder if this is what spiritual means. We don't always have the tools to understand the depth of spirituality, even in religious circles. 

0:40:07 - Speaker 1
Absolutely, absolutely. 

0:40:09 - Speaker 2
Oh man. 

0:40:09 - Speaker 1
I feel like we could go on and on about spirituality, but I want to give you a chance to say I know you have two more ingredients. 

0:40:16 - Speaker 2
Number five how do I replenish missing ingredients in myself? So it's like knowing what your those ingredients are, knowing first of all, recognizing that they're missing, even the simple things. Did I have enough sleep two, three nights in a row for me to even be thinking clearly? But it's also those non tangible things that are so important to replenishment that you might not even know you need, like volunteering your time A huge path to health, wellness and happiness for people. In what way and in what settings can I offer myself? Can I show up and be of service? That's huge, Yes. 

0:40:56 - Speaker 1
Oh, man, that is. It's so interesting that you bring that up Because I think for a lot of people listening to this, a lot of like the people I tend to work with, are chronic people pleasers and chronic like giving of themselves. But it's from this energy of like if I don't do this, i'm unsafe, and that's something that I've again feel like I've been touching back into. Of like I've had to set up so many boundaries and say no and not over give my time. But as I've done that, as I've replenished myself, this desire to truly give back from the space of like abundance of there's actually like something to pour from right. That whole you can't pour from an empty cup. It fills me up then, like I feel so good after I you know, maybe being a guest speaker in someone's space or, you know, doing something like that, or just helping someone out, helping a neighbor out, where it feel like that before felt so draining because I had no energy, but now it's like, oh, i feel like that just actually filled me up. I'm never, yeah. 

So that's really interesting that you I love that Fill up give from the overflow. 

0:42:01 - Speaker 2
Yes, oh beautiful, everybody wins, everybody wins. Yes, for me, crafting and making things is really important. I don't love to cook. I have friends who love to cook. That's how they fill up. You can garden, you can listen or watch to something. Watch something that inspires you. For some people it's reading scripture, for some people it's reading memoirs and novels. But so what fills you up? How do I replenish, how do I fill my well so I can get to that place of overflowing where I can give? But I also want to say none of us have to wait until we're full to overflowing to give. It can really be therapeutic to just set aside an hour, an hour, once a month to show up somewhere and give, like that, you know, even when you're feeling a little depleted. If you can put it in your schedule and show up with that healthy boundary time boundary it can really serve to fill in the missing spaces in your well, in your personal well. 

0:42:58 - Speaker 1
I love that, i really love that. 

0:43:00 - Speaker 2
You can really. You know it's a feedback loop. You show up and give, and when you are inspired, you are fed again And then finally, meaning making. I don't believe at all in the putting a bow on things and ending having a beautiful ending, although it's lovely when that happens. But how did those really hard things that happened? How did the disease that affected me bring some kind of meaning to my life? How people don't have to reach a point where even they're grateful for what happened Some people are But if we can reach a point where we just make meaning, what did I learn? There was something to be learned from that experience. What did I learn from? it Can really fill the space in our bodies and in our souls with a lot of light. 

0:43:50 - Speaker 1
Yes, Oh, I so agree with that. I so agree with that. I think it's so common that, like if, after I've completed work with someone, they'll be like my pain ended up being like the greatest gift I ever received. And I think it's interesting because I've seen people and I think I myself like saw testimonials, like that right Of like, oh, you're making this mean something, And it's again. it's that piece where you try to bypass the work it takes to get to that place and be like well, how can I make meaning now and just make it all pretty? And it's like no, okay, it just often happens in at least I've found it happens in retrospect. often, with this ability to look back and reflect, It really is amazing. when you look at things through that lens, it really changes things. 

0:44:31 - Speaker 2
I Oprah said Oprah was my, was my, really my spiritual mentor, for you know, since the 80s, since she came on the air when I was in my early 20s, and she always says I would not do anything differently. She had a hard life, a lot of abuse, a lot of suffering. She says I would not do anything differently. I don't know that I would say that exactly about everything in my life and I don't know a lot of people who would say that totally either. but you don't have to get to that point where you appreciate all of it. You just have to get to a point where you can find some gold in the dark, where you suffered, and bring it into present day. What did you learn? How did I grow wisdom from that experience on that hardship? How can I use that wisdom now in my life moving forward? That's really what I mean about meaning, making Oh, i love that. 

0:45:22 - Speaker 1
I love that so much and I'm so curious too of like I feel like that's just such a beautiful place to. I would have respect everyone's time and everything like that. 

I'm like I want to start more conversations, but okay, let's, let's wrap up, because that bringing that wisdom into life, i feel like, is such a beautiful place to kind of end on, of just even giving listeners a time to reflect on. From everything we spoke about, it's like what is like a gem you can bring into your life from what you heard today, because I think it's so conical, because I know I follow this all the time of you listen to something you're like this is amazing, and then you just forget to do anything with it. So I'm curious if there's like one little nugget I mean you have so many already that you could leave people with or one piece of wisdom that you just want people to know. Is there anything that you want to leave people with? 

0:46:11 - Speaker 2
Each of us is essential in this planet. Each of us is essential and we don't know the depth of meaning that our lives hold while we're living them. But to keep going one foot after another, to find support, recess resources, to find friends, mentors and peers who will also be our companions in this earth school. Eventually meaning will show up and we can appreciate, appreciate those blooms in their own time, just to have faith that it's all purposeful and meaningful, where each of us doing the best we can do and that's all that we can do. And to find meaning here and there makes it a lot more fun. 

0:46:47 - Speaker 1
Oh, that is so beautiful. Oh, thank you so much for that. What a beautiful message. And so, lisa, where can people find you? 

0:46:55 - Speaker 2
Please find me at my website, lisa Miller beautiful day, and on Instagram, lisa Miller beautiful day, and I have a deck of wisdom cards coming out soon called life love notes. I have a retreat uh August 31st September 4th, for women in Cincinnati, long weekend retreat. We're gonna be soul collaging and art journaling and yoga-ing and having small group conversations about how to make meaning and find joy and find the golden threads of our stories, and I would love for people to think about joining me and come and show up, contribute and receive. 

0:47:35 - Speaker 1
Oh, that's so. I don't think I knew that you were hosting a retreat. That sounds absolutely amazing and from being at one of Lisa's soul cause sessions, i can say she is an absolutely beautiful facilitator and, uh, it was such an honor to be there. Well, thank you so so much, lisa. I learned so much from this conversation and enjoyed it so much. Thank you for being here. 

0:47:55 - Speaker 2
I'm glad to be in it with you, andrea. 

Transcribed by https://podium.page