Finding Strength & Resilience in Crisis with Tamar Gersh

00:00 - Dr. Andrea Moore (Host)
Welcome. Welcome to our. It is so wonderful to have you on here. I'm so excited for this conversation. 

00:06 - Tamar Gersh (Host)
Me too. 

00:07 - Dr. Andrea Moore (Host)
Awesome, yeah. So we have been connected for some time and I really wanted to bring you on because you're a recent. I mean, you've always been amazing and resilient in a powerhouse, but that has been dramatically emphasized and magnified in these recent months, and so I would love to first have you share just a little bit about who you are and how you got to doing what you are doing now. 

00:41 - Tamar Gersh (Host)
Yeah, well, I'm so excited to be here and actually you and I would have been like connected here and there and here and there and here and there on Instagram and just through our coaching community, and so it's really fun to be on here. So, thank you, for I really feel honored to be here. So, yes, I am Tamar. I am, I live in Israel. I live in a town called Paris Hanna, which is a town on the coast, right on the right on the sea. I am a mama of four. I have kids who are 17, 14, 11, almost 12 and 7. And I am a life and business coach as well as a global retreat leader. And, yeah, I'm just so excited to be here with everybody here. So I'm just something anything else I could share specifically, but I think that's pretty much a taste of who I am and where I live and everything like that. 

01:36 - Dr. Andrea Moore (Host)
Yes, amazing and obviously, being in Israel right now. There's a lot up in the world and in this. One of the reasons why I wanted to have you on here, of just getting right into things, is that I talk a lot on this podcast about developing nervous system safety and I define that as the ability to move through whatever circumstance or situation that you're you're in or whatever emotion you're experiencing or whatever physical experience that you're in, and it's just the, the trust that you're going to move through it and that it doesn't need to be pretty or graceful or done in any certain way. It's just that deep knowing of like. I don't know how, sometimes you know, sometimes you do know how, sometimes it's like I don't know how, but I just I'm going to make this through and to me, that's the ultimate nervous system safety of this grounding that you can capture at any moment. And I think it's easy to touch into that when you have physical safety right, when I can sit here and literally be like like. 

02:41
One of the tools I use, because I do have fear of like one of the like ancestral fears I have is is is of like invading like someone, because my parents were invaded by the Russians, and then my grandparents were in the Holocaust, and so it's like I will literally go outside and be like nobody is at my door coming to get me, and it's like I have the ability right now to be like there is literally nobody coming to get me, but all of a sudden, those tools can, might start to feel a little iffy when there literally could be somebody at your door coming to get you, yeah. And yet what I'm seeing is that you are still turning to your own tools, yeah, over and over in midst of uncertainty and unsafety, and so one I just, I mean, want to honor the heck out of that and send so much love over to you and everyone in Israel and who's going through this, and can you just share a little bit of what that has been like for you since October 7th? 

03:39 - Tamar Gersh (Host)
Yeah, absolutely yeah. I mean, we'll say I would just kind of echo like I have never been more thankful to be a freaking life coach. It literally feels like. It literally feels like you know you're, you're, you're zipping off to like a vacation in Jamaica and you got like your bathing suit and the perfect SPF you know SPF 30, you know, packed in your suitcase and your flip flops and your Bob Marley book, all the stuff that you'd want on like a Jamaica vacation as a life coach, as opposed to being like quickly, quick, we're going Jamaica, let's go, and like you have gotten nothing with you, but like a winter jacket and whatever you're wearing, and it's like you get there and it's like you are screwed a little bit. It feels like, and so I just feel like, yes, I think it's like I'm so grateful to have come into what I see right now as another one of my journeys in my life and and I get to bring all of my tools and everything I know, to be true, that's already helped me in all different areas of my life, like, you know, becoming a mother and you know, building a business and all the other stuff that happens and the other journeys this, all the skills, all the tools I get to bring to this journey of my life, you know, which obviously is not something I would ever choose and choose for anybody, but I do. Now I do have these tools to be able to use them. And I'll say, these tools are like, you know, sometimes it's just like, yeah, I'm freaking, getting out of my brains and I'm going to, you know, go into my room and I'm going to go cross the street. You know, go into my room and I'm going to go cry for an hour, and that's what's happening right now. And that's a tool, yes, yes. And then there's a tool of like, you know, I know how to, like, you know, use my body to move through the emotions and just really kind of really allow them to sink in and have them move through me and where I'm not experiencing the fear in that same kind of way. And that's a tool. And so I've been able to kind of tap into whatever I'm pulling on, you know, resonating with at the moment. 

05:52
I think that a lot of people unfortunately have not been able to do just regular people who are like as professionals, they're teachers and they're learned, they're all other amazing things, but as life coaches, we just we handle these tools, we literally have them. And so I feel beyond grateful to be in this kind of profession and with this particular kind of journey experience, because I've never in my life and like you know, we're not new to war here, we're not new to sometimes, like, I have a hard time translating it I take a second to translate the Hebrew to the English, so sometimes I won't even be able to do that for you guys, but I don't know Just terrorist attacks, things like that, we're not new to this at all. But what happened on October 7th is a whole different kind of monster and a whole different kind of experience for this country. And so I'll tell you a little bit because you had asked a little bit of like that moment that happened on October 7th. So October 7th is a Jewish holiday called Simchat Torah, which is the holiday where we dance and we celebrate and we dance around with the Torah, with the book. That's our history and our people think people know as the Bible and as the Old Testament, right, mm-hmm, right, yeah, so anyway. So it's a very big holiday and you go to the synagogue and you dance, you know, with the Torah and you're, you know all these kind of things, and so my husband and my older son were already there and I was home with my daughters and my little son and planning on meeting them. 

07:30
Also, I'm observant I won on certain kind of holidays, and on Sabbath I don't use phones, I don't use technology, any of that kind of stuff. So as I'm getting dressed to meet my husband and son with my other kids, I see text messages coming in from my sister, who lives in a little kind of village just north of Jerusalem. That basically is like what the fuck? Oh, my God, are you okay? What's you know? And I? And so we live up north, so we live further from Gaza than the rest of my family, and so, since six in the morning, they were hearing non-stop sirens, non-stop sirens, and there was one in our area which I did not hear, but that was it. So we were not aware of what was going on. And so she basically was the one to inform me, at like 11 in the afternoon, that 1,500 Harris Hamas infiltrated the country and that there were non-stop rockets being, you know, and we don't know what's going on. But this is like what all we know right now, and that people are being massacred down south. 

08:46
And so I had my daughter, my 11 year old had just left the house and it was going to walk to the synagogue where her friends were. It's about a 25 minute walk away. And I was like holy crap, oh God. And my older daughter wasn't even planning coming with me. But I woke her up and, anyways, my son saw me on the. I just called my sister, picked up the phone and called my sister and was like what the hell? You have to tell me what's going on because I don't know. And my son, suddenly, I was like why are you on the phone? She knew something was going on. He was like what's going on? 

09:14
So I woke everybody up, we left, we went to the synagogue and when I got there everybody was like dancing and celebrating and singing and everything. And I was like, well, I'm coming to tell everybody what's going on. They have no idea what's going on. And so I got there and I quickly found my husband and I'm like I need to tell you something. And he's like yeah, I know. And I'm like what do you mean, you know? And he told me everything that I do know. And so it sure. 

09:45
So they knew, because half of our guys were called in for the army because you know they were called back for reserves duty. You know anyone who's a father about I think it's basically 23 and up. You know who already done the army and but they everybody there. This is how we need to be right now. We need to continue to celebrate, we need to continue to dance until we know what's going on. There is a safe room. If God forbid, we need to go in there, and they just felt like they need to be there. I myself did not feel like I needed to be. I felt like I had to not be, there was, did not feel like the place in to be, and my best friend had left home like a mess and so I wanted to go meet her. So, anyway, that's kind of our October 7th. 

10:26
And then we and then, as the details came out, more and more, you know we were, we were hearing everything that was going on and that you know hostages were taken and how many people got killed and all all the stuff that I'm sure that many of you guys have heard as well and we just didn't it. We were just in total shock. We just like, did it, like this has never, like there's been other things, but this has never been what's been happening in this country before. But I will say this that I think for many people, you know, I think many people outside of Israel talk about like October 7th, october 7th, like this was the day, this was the devastating day for us, and it's kind of like, and you know, this is like the day for us here in Israel, you know, and and I and I can't speak for the people of Gaza, but I'm sure 100% for them as well we are still living in October 7th. We are very much. It is. We have not left October 7th. 

11:25
It is like one thing after another that is that is still our October 7th. I mean, our hostages are not home. We have over 100, 129, I believe. You know friends, children are there. We have a friend who she's a very good friend. The couple is very good friends with my older sister. She went to like summer camp together. Their son is there, he's 23. He had a ticket yesterday to fly to India. 

11:56
In Israel our kids go to the army and then, after the army, they travel for a year. After then they come back and the university or work. He had a ticket to go to India and then go to Thailand and they go for a year. His ticket was yesterday. They went to the airport with his backpack empty and just being there, you know, in that space, you know holding space for him there, and he's still being held in hostage in Gaza for 81 plus days. That's her shriek. Yeah, exactly, exactly so. We're very much still in October 7th, yeah, but I will say this that we are very much not broken. I think probably a lot of people coming to visit us here in Israel would assume that they're getting on a plane to help heal a broken nation, and it is the most bizarre feeling to feel this is what I have felt this entire time that while I've never in my life been so devastated and fearful and in grieving before in the same rate, I've never had a fuller heart in my life and kind of balancing those two experiences, I mean immediately, this nation and this is, this is really the Israeli people, this is really how we work. But I've never seen it so profound before. 

13:22
We went into mode immediately like we didn't care what the government was going to fund or not fund. We didn't care what the government was going to vote while they're going to volunteer. We didn't care. We're like what needs to happen, let's make it happen now. And so that's what we did. 

13:37
And we like took to the farms because all of our Thai workers had to go back and many of our farmers are in reserves so they had to go and fight in Gaza. So we took to the farms, we took to making boxes for the Bedouin Arab communities that have like no shelter and are really like out there and you know, and creating, you know, first aid for them. We took to the hospital because you know the whole country again, because so many people had to go down to the reserves and then these mothers are left without their partners and so now they also can't work as much. So many of us just kind of like took to the hospitals, took to the. Where do we need to volunteer? Where do we need to do that? Our kids were not in schools. Our kids are doing the same thing. I mean, my kids were coming down with me farming and also working. 

14:23
We I went to Africa with this incredible organization called Innovation Africa. 

14:28
My son raised money to supply a whole solar paneling system for a village to allow the dad giving electricity, and so this organization built solar boxes to give to our soldiers and our doctors, I think down south they do not have electricity, so my kids were there building these boxes and did and we were just like let's go, let's go now, and so, amongst allow, or grieving while we're literally bearing our loves and all that, since we're volunteering and we're building and we're building and we're building, we're very much like going back and forth between the like living and the dead, you know, like the life and like death, like constant back and forth, which truly, I believe, is what's saving us in this. 

15:21
Yeah, you know, in this moment, and I think it's something that I think the Jewish community abroad unfortunately does not have as much because I think you know, you know when you, when you volunteer, when you like are of service, it really fulfills. It's like this dopamine, it I remember reading somewhere that it's like the same kind of dopamine even of like overeating and like over Netflixing and over drinking and things like that. It like create this, like, yeah, right, but but clearly it's like the over-indulging in the way that's actually going to serve you because it's going to continuously motivate you and the feel good emotions, right. And so I think that we were, on some level, lucky for that, like I myself volunteer every week on a farm and it saved me. And I'm also realizing now, when this is all done and over, god willing, soon, that I will continue to volunteer in the farms because of how it's like served me on a personal love. So you know, so it's like we're still living in October 7th and we are just have created a completely new nation since October 7th. 

16:34 - Dr. Andrea Moore (Host)
Wow, yes, oh, my goodness, I mean, there's so much there and I think that, like trying to think of what the right word is I want to say juxtaposition, and I'm not sure if that's the right word but like, between those two feelings, right of like, like what you said, you're like we're not broken or devastated, you're grieving and it also sounds like you're coming together and serving and helping each other and you have fuller hearts more than ever. And it's I always talk about holding like these multiple truths at once and it's like that is such a powerful example and I think there's a I see this in the chronic pain community a lot. It's like it feels like you almost have to be suffering in victim mode in this place to feel like your pain is valid. Yeah, and I know I was stuck in that as well when I was healing from, like, my concussion. It was like, well, if I'm not acting miserable, then no one will take me seriously, right Then, and then I'm going to have to go and I'm just going to have to, like, work full time again and burn myself out and do all these things and show up forever, right, and it just felt like this really confusing thing to hold, but I was like I don't want to keep feeling miserable. Yes, yes, and I, and it's like what I'm hearing right, and I think Israel is such, and the Jewish people, I mean, I look at my grandparents and what they went through and my parents and what they went through is just like I'm going to see on our first rodeo. 

18:06
No, it's not, and I'm like there's such an example of that. It's like it's like being able to to hold pain and make space for it, but I think we're doing better at with like coaching and with like increased knowledge, because I do not think previous generations always made space for pain. It was like a repression and move on and don't talk about it, Whereas what I'm hearing and you said this you're like I feel the fear, I feel scared or I feel the grief and I go cry for an hour. I let it out, you embody it, you feel it, you let it move, I literally schedule it. 

18:42 - Tamar Gersh (Host)
Sometimes, when I know that it's really busy, I literally like in my schedule, be like cry, go, shower, cry. I love it Because like I know that it needs to come out and I know that my day is so busy that, like it's not, I have to like sometimes schedule it and other times I just don't have to and it just I could just do the same and cook, cook fry. But yes, I definitely, I definitely make time for that. 

19:06 - Dr. Andrea Moore (Host)
Yeah, I think there's a. I've noticed like I guess almost like a trend or a knee or whatever in like the mind body world, right when it's like there's almost this expectation of like well, I have to feel all of my feelings and just sit in my room all day and cry and let it all out and I need to process them all, and it's like no, that like yes to processing them and let it still lend them out when they need to come up, or like I'm also a big scheduler of like schedule like 20 minutes. There's something that came up for you and this awareness of like wow, here's this thing that needs to be processed, schedule it in, can make a container so you can then go live your life. 

19:46 - Tamar Gersh (Host)
Yeah, yeah, absolutely Like. That's the big, that's the huge, that's the piece, right, it's like, especially in the beginning, I was offering a lot of free coaching and in group coaching and workshops and things like that. And you know, what was the primary thing that was coming up was like, yeah, people were so swallowed up in it that they could not live their lives. So they like really like, they were really kind of just going toward, like the fear was so consuming for them or they would just like constantly be getting into these arguments and conversations on social media. That would then put them out for the rest of the day, the rest of the week sometimes, and it was just kind of like listen, there's so much that we cannot control in life. Right now, especially, there are so many things that we cannot control. So let's now okay, yes, let's agree to that and now let's focus on well, what the hell can we control? What can I control here? Let's focus there. That's where I want my energy to go to, because I know that when I can like get on that focus on what I can control, I know that that feeling is so like really gets you going and then I can start doing things for, like my people, I can do things for my family, I can start showing up in ways that I want to be showing up. So it's 100%, you know, I think that's some. That's really. 

21:11
It's really important to like see that, because you could just get swallowed up in this like ball of grief and sorrow and like I can't you know that can't believe this is happening to us. I can't believe this is, you know, they're like kind of really stuck there. But we realize, like I know, and it is happening to us, this is happening right now, all of it, and what should we do about it? What can we do about it? Can we leave to just prayers and we just know, like things that are just not in our hands and what are things that are in our hands? 

21:47
And that's kind of where I've constantly like pulling myself towards and my clients towards, like so that we can, you know, be and create, really be creators, right, instead of like really kind of stuck in these emotions, because these emotions, these specific emotions, are the ones that keep you stuck right. It's like the grief, fear, devastation. I mean, they're meant to keep you stuck and I think there's a purpose on, you know, certain, for a certain amount of time. And then there's a time when it's like, okay, I'm ready to get into roles again and how do we do that? And after one of them's like, where I've been asking myself personally, you know, when I'm finding like, okay, I'm feeling stuck. Right now, I'm feeling consumed in this post, or in this, this, this conversation or this, whatever it is. You know, yeah. 

22:35 - Dr. Andrea Moore (Host)
And what I'm hearing from you it's like a constant or whatever. Maybe constant too strong word, but it's like a constant checking in with self and needing to like, re, like route when you've gotten stuck. And I think people need to hear this because I know for my clients sometimes they're like, well, I got stuck again. I'm like, of course you got stuck again, exactly, yeah. 

22:53 - Tamar Gersh (Host)
Nothing has gone wrong. Exactly, you haven't gone off track. I think that is the point where people then then they lose themselves there because it's like yeah, because you're human, your brain is great, your brain will like it takes forever to like, create, actually to rewire and be a completely different way. So, yes, for a very long time you're going to be like quote unquote, stuck and back, quote unquote, where you were. No, you were never, you're never where you were. It's already. Everything's changed. 

23:23
It's your noticing where you are which is the best change, exactly, spell recreation right there, Exactly, Exactly, and so like it's, it's, you're going to be constantly like you know having this, and I think, truly I think you know talking about the tools and being like coach and how grateful I am for that. 

23:39
You know, I think one of the biggest things is the, is my, my dialogue that I have with myself, Like I've become so good at those constant check-ins, like even out loud and whatever. 

23:51
I think that's like been my greatest thing, which I think most people you know we don't naturally go there, we don't naturally like kind of like, hey, love, you know, what do you need right now? What's what's feeling nourishing to you right now? And just you know, and constantly being like really my best friend, my own best friend, and that's definitely been, you know, significant in this for me, Like I'm not doing this by myself, I'm really not. I'm really doing this with myself, and that's a big deal. That's a really big deal, you know. And so I definitely encourage my people and all the people's to be constantly checking in with themselves, even if it feels a little bit silly and a little bit weird and more strange in the beginning, but to really be like if I knew what I needed right now? What could it be? What would it be? You know, if I have anything, what would it be right now? And listening to the reply of that, the response of that yes. 

24:49 - Dr. Andrea Moore (Host)
Yes, and I think learning to trust that reply is huge. I think so often people do receive their reply and then they like poo, poo it away or be like no, that's silly, or it's too small, or it's not enough, or it's too big, you know, depending on what it is. 

25:06 - Tamar Gersh (Host)
Yes, yes, 100%, 100% yeah. 

25:11 - Dr. Andrea Moore (Host)
And often it's a whisper that comes in. That is, you know, depends, I think. Sometimes I, you know, I've had both where it is like this really big thing and I'm like, oh, I got to, like baby, step my way up there. But I think a lot of times my voice is, it feels, almost too small, like the action is like just breathe, and I'm like, okay, great, I can breathe, but now what, right? I'm like, oh, yeah, okay, so let me breathe, Really, find my breath. And then I can ask again right, and then I get another like, okay, now, here's your next step, right? It's like just give it that space. 

25:44 - Tamar Gersh (Host)
Yeah, that's good, yeah, that's awesome, exactly it like taking yourself through those different steps and like, yeah, literally like I picture myself like holding my own hand. And just when you were describing that, I was like picturing you holding your own hands, you know, like walking yourself through and like every step, like you're there for yourself, every single step, you know. Yes. 

26:07 - Dr. Andrea Moore (Host)
Yes, and I want to go back to something you said about volunteering, because I feel like this is something that I don't see touched on enough and I think is even, for me, a more recent thing. I think we live in a culture where people are burned out, yeah, and they're inundated with things and they're like have lived their whole lives, people pleasing, doing things that they don't want to do for others, and we've kind of reached this collective state of apathy. 

26:34 - Tamar Gersh (Host)
Yeah. 

26:36 - Dr. Andrea Moore (Host)
And are like I can't possibly do something else for others, like I have nothing to pour from. Yeah, yeah, and I know I felt like that before and but you're so right, it's like that and it's like I found this to be so true. When I really touch into it. It's like when you can help someone with it, it is like literally opening the door for someone. Or while we were just up north Michigan and we were on a hike and there was these like two. When we came down from our hike, there's no one else in the parking lot, it was just our car and these two people were there. They're like studying the map and they're like do you guys for around here? And like they couldn't find their car. And it was like it was about to get dark. It was like five minutes away from sunset, like it was going to be, you know, another at least hour hike back to where they were like please let us drive you. 

27:19
And I remember the whole time. I'm like I just feel so good right now. You know what I mean. I'm like what do I mean? I mean it is like it is such a dope of being hit, of being able to help someone. You're like, oh my God, like you would have been stranded in the freeze and cold and dark. There's no cell phone service, you don't even know where you're going and I'm like I just feel lovely about myself. Thank you for giving me this opportunity. Literally, yeah, hormones rushing through my body right now 100%. 

27:45 - Tamar Gersh (Host)
I think most of the time it's even more so for us than for the two people we're actually serving. Like it's great, it's how folks, those things but like what you're feeling, it's like a whole other level. 

27:54 - Dr. Andrea Moore (Host)
100% it's exactly, and it can take, though I think, this like sometimes right when the opportunity isn't beautifully presented to you, like that it can take this almost like a momentum that needs to come over of like oh my God, okay, I need to like get up off my floor or like, especially, I see this in chronic pain A lot of people have they're not working a lot, so they're at home a lot like they're, they've, you know, they're working kind of more odd jobs, or they're working they're a coach or they're somewhere they can set their own schedule, and so it's almost like they're time serving and being of service from a way that feels like really fulfilling for them is little to none. 

28:34 - Tamar Gersh (Host)
Yeah, yes. 

28:36 - Dr. Andrea Moore (Host)
Yeah, absolutely, and it's really hard to, I think, step into, back into that role when you it's associated with hustle, culture or people pleasing, but when you can step into it from this place of I want to serve, like this I can be of service. Okay, maybe I don't even know how to function in my own body, but I can at least help you, it's like one of the most healing things that can happen, and I think so often people are like well, I'll do that once I feel better, and it's like no, that's actually the thing that'll make you feel better, probably a hundred percent, could not agree more, a hundred percent, I tell you. 

29:16 - Tamar Gersh (Host)
You know, like you know, I believe you've asked, you asked many, many, many people ask me like, yeah, what are, like, what are the specific things that you do to show up to your life right now, to show up to your business, to show up to your family, to, you know, when it's like, literally? You know, I think I was, I shared last week I was going to visit, we're at Tel Aviv visiting, and there's a Nova exhibit, an exhibit of where, basically, for those who don't know, nova is the dance music festival that was down south on October 7th, all young, beautiful, you know, young folks who came down to dance for three days at festival, and they were one of the first to be infiltrated by Hamas, and I think it was 320 kids were killed, raped and abducted as well, and, anyways, they took all the things, all the everything that was left there, because everyone, survivor or not, everything was left because they were just taking off for their lives, and so everything was collected and then recreated in Tel Aviv. And so we are there for this exhibit, which was a whole other podcast in itself, and then all the way back has been. I stopped at our favorite trail beach hike with some Indian food. 

30:36
We're going to have a little date that literally would have been like our first date since the war has broken out, and so we're like really excited and we sit down within like literally a minute, maybe a minute and a half, 30 rockets shoot down on us and we're like, and this, this felt scarier than anything because we were exposed. We were not by a shelter, obviously, we're in the beach exposed, we there are a couple other couples there, but you know just, and it was the two of us together, without our kids that felt scary, like God forbid anything happened to us. Like that was it? You know, think that we're okay, but it was like we saw the entire 30 missiles coming down and then, thank God, we have the iron dome, which is, you know, what Israel built to shoot down these rockets. We saw that also, which was like it felt like video game, like it was just crazy. I forgot what I was telling you specifically, but maybe the, the state, is the fear factor. 

31:34
It was about going out and like living your life, but it was right, exactly Right, and so I think the main thing that the couple. So I've done like you know, I do so many different things, but there's something that I'm Sally actually I think you might know, sally, she was also in Drift for marketing with us back in, back in the day. She's amazing. I love her. She's from Ireland. I believe she said one thing and I forgot what context. Maybe it was a real, maybe I don't know what it was, but she had said in terms of like you know, coming back to ourselves and regulating our you know ourselves, you know to and completely. This is not how she said it, I'm completely saying in my own words, but to connect to what your ancestors would, would be doing. All those activities are what regulate us, because we are doing so many things that are so out of whack and not a connection with how we are working, how we are wired, how we are built, like the constant social media online, where our ancestors were like gardening and with animals and you know with each other, like real, solid relationships, sharing meals together, you know just being together, helping each other out, all those kinds of things, and I really kind of really took that in and I think really out of like everything that I do to keep myself on solid ground so that I can show up for all these things in my life. I think the two things are absolutely coming back into my body. I've always been a person who's connected to my body, but this is like a whole new level of this experience and I think probably many new listeners can, can really understand this, those who've like, gone through chronic pain and this whole new relationship with their body. And but I've never, like I'm doing a lot of somatic. You know, movements in the morning. I work out every morning, which is something I've always done. But you know, I kind of add that in I have to go for very long walks on the beach. I go for very long walks, you know, out with podcast walks and things like that. We borrowed a dog for two weeks from a friend which allowed us to do both. Like we have the pet thing, the adorable thing, and the movement. Thanks for constantly going off for walks for him and things like that. So and I've never, like I've never experienced the processing, the emotion through the body like in this journey that I'm in right now. It's been significant. And then the second thing that I've been doing has been where we're talking about in terms of this service work, but, more importantly, connection, because I think, you know, I think that probably many of us are probably having more conversations online than we ever have, but they are leaving us feeling more disconnected than we ever have At least, that's been my experience and the experience of many people that I've spoken to and so I think there's kind of a thing where it's like we're almost too connected to each other online, like there's there's that we're being flooded, our systems are being flooded, you know, in terms of that, and so I've really so in terms of, like my volunteer work and service and all the farming, all that kind of stuff, like Just being connected to the community has been a really big deal for me and those in those like tighter relationships. This is a good example, actually, what I'm gonna be doing right after we get off of this. This is a really beautiful thing. 

35:09
Basically, my husband's friend is a sofa, which is somebody who writes the Torah. He's like a job. It's like you go, you feel like a learn. It's very like hardcore. You're learning how to write. It takes usually a year if that's like all you're doing. It happened to take my friend six years to do it Anyway. So he writes a to you know he's writing a Torah. 

35:32
So when everything happened, my husband and him and a few of their other friends went all over the country. It's a tradition to save a last like hundred letters for the community to write to kind of finish it off. So our friend left three thousand letters and for the past I don't know you know few weeks they have gone all of the country from down south to the communities who were like really through it, whose family members got completely massacred, everything to for them to write some of the letters. And then they went to. We have a healing center right down the road from us on the beach for the Nova survivors, for the dance survivors. They went there and had the survivors write letters in the Torah and it was really moving. My husband said, like you know they were, they were dedicating their letters to their friends who you know were killed or taken hostage. It was just like incredibly moving. These like young, young, like 23 year olds, and on to all the different army bases. 

36:42
And tonight is the completion of it. It's completed and they're having a big celebration where it's a big dancing, a parade and a meal together and a whole celebrating in. This Torah was written by, like the nation of Israel, like all of them. And it's crazy because it kind of also talks like this is also like we. This whole thing started off like on Tsimchat Torah, the holiday where we celebrate the Torah and we dance and we all this kind of things. 

37:09
And here we are going to be like actually back at that same place, at the same synagogue, you know, completing it, celebrating and dancing it, and it's like connecting to the community and connecting to the whole nation, and those kinds of things had just continuously lugged me back in to life. Lugged me back into life every time my mind and brain goes to, like the fear by six nieces and nephews on the front lines in Gaza. What's happening with it? What's going on with them? You know, is my friends? What's happening with my friend son, who's still there? All of it? It's like I'm constantly, as much as I'm going into that fear, I'm plugging back into into life here, like real lifeline thing, and that's that's it. That's what you're not me going, you know, yeah, and I feel like on some level, I don't really have a choice, although I know that we always have choices, but you know, it's like if I'm gonna survive this, this is my choice yeah, yeah, and I think that's a powerful, powerful way to be. 

38:15 - Dr. Andrea Moore (Host)
That gave me chills, just like metatura. Wow, that's amazing. 

38:20 - Tamar Gersh (Host)
Yeah, I'll share. I'll definitely share some videos and things like that. 

38:25 - Dr. Andrea Moore (Host)
I social media, touch on that real quick. I have like an app now that I just don't have an Instagram feed, like I can't see anything, it's an app. 

38:37 - Tamar Gersh (Host)
Wait, it's an app. 

38:38 - Dr. Andrea Moore (Host)
That doesn't that that that locks it yes, so I can search for somebody and then see their stuff, okay, but otherwise, and I can post on it. It is only for Android and I cannot remember the name of it, but eventually post that in your notes. 

38:58 - Tamar Gersh (Host)
I bet you know your people. Yeah, that's a huge deal. 

39:02 - Dr. Andrea Moore (Host)
The social yeah, I just cut in yellow. It's funny because now it's like at least before, when it sometimes I'm scrolling through you have like your funny accounts, do you mean? They're like huh, huh, whatever, I'm not event. So I sit there and go to, like you know, a couple accounts where I'm just like updating myself on what's going on and I'm like clearly now in an even bigger bubble of whatever. But it's okay, it's at least my chosen bubble. Yeah, yeah, we should all have a bubble right now. 

39:27
Yes, I feel like I'm like I have no idea what's going on with anybody right now, but it's been like amazing. Yeah, I'm just I, these conversations you were talking about and and seeing posts and and things like that. It's like I still obviously see stuff, because then the accounts I go to post them, but anyways, I never heard. That's really smart. Yeah, another Jewish friend told me about it because she's like I can't take this anymore and she's like I found this app. It's amazing, and I was like, oh, my god, thank you for a smart, so smart, so good yeah cuz. 

39:59
It's like I don't think there's any amount of like, like I don't think we can come back. You know you take so much effort to like see something be triggered and then have to regulate yourself. Yeah, I'm like, oh, yeah, have energy for that. Like I have enough things I need to regulate no self-attracted daylight, let alone have this massive amount. 

40:20 - Tamar Gersh (Host)
Yeah, I definitely created and I think that most people have this like echo chamber, like literally echo chamber, where it's, you know, and I I don't post on, I don't, I don't comment the ad. There's only one time when I was a stick in bed where I commented actually on, of all people, both. Barack Obama had put up a post for Hanukkah and he just wanted to say happy Hanukkah to the Jewish people and was talking about the holiday, about resilience and things like that. And I was like, and I, naively, I was like that is really sweet. You know, I'll comment on this one. That's a very sweet note, you know. 

40:58
And so I go into the comments and it was like I mean, I was like what, I was shocked, I was like I had been searching in my echo chamber, that I was like what? Oh, my thank you was like not stop, how could you say happy Hanukkah when the genocide's happening and got all this stuff? And I was like whoa, and so I decided to comment and and, and it was interesting, I comment, right, I, I commented. I basically was like wow, like I'm so confused, like this is literally about how it doesn't even have to do with Israel and I have no idea why people are going nuts about like connecting it. If you're so committed to your statement of like you know anti-semitism is not anti Zionism and but you're actually equating them exactly right here. I don't really understand the various nice sentiment whatever, and I got like 300 likes and then lots of comments and I, thankfully, was tired up to take myself out. 

41:56
But I think that the echo chamber and this particular app that you're sharing is genius because, honestly, there's sometimes it's like even as I think to people like it's even worse on what's like actually having to run into shelters here. It's like so it feels the same. Honestly, you know it's this fear that someone has come is, hates you doesn't watch you here, wants you and all of your people dead. It's your body doesn't know that. There's a difference between like they're just they don't even know where you live and they are online. They can't do anything to you, but you don't know that you don't. Your body doesn't know that and it's like the constant ability for people to constantly shake that up in you. You know, yeah and yeah yeah, yes, it, yeah. 

42:43 - Dr. Andrea Moore (Host)
I think it's just like a whole new level of nervous system feedback that is. It's anything, there's no, there's no good way out other than to avoid like, to not be on it. I think it goes back to exactly what you said. I'm like connecting to like. What would your ancestors do not be in social media? 

42:59 - Tamar Gersh (Host)
yeah, really true percent. I'm representing you go for a walk. They would work on their gardens. They would hang out with each other. They would go to bed at second the Sun went down. They would read yeah, they went to have conversations, they would, you know, they'd make food together all day long and they would be. 

43:16 - Dr. Andrea Moore (Host)
I think this is something I have to keep like, coming back to myself of, like they would be oblivious to some things happening in the world. They, we cannot know it all, and I think that is something that keeps people like, well, I gotta be like, keep watching the news, I gotta stay connected, I gotta keep doing this because then I'm gonna, you know, not be aware and it's like, is it? 

43:35
really like really like, how often is it like, do you really need to know something in real time? Like there's a difference of being aware of what's happening and, you know, knowing some things and being so inundated that you're just in freeze and in fear of the world, that you can't go out and live your life because you're in very much fear. I would like. 

43:56 - Tamar Gersh (Host)
I think that every single one of my clients is on a it's on a scrolling and news protocol where they're giving themselves specific rules like today they write it, they write it the night before and today I am check, I get to check the news twice and they stick to it. But they get to put they could put 12 times, whatever it is, but like they have to stick to it because you know they're creating that from there, the differential cortex brain, their brain that's actually thinking about them and how they're going to feel and what they want to accomplish, as opposed to the brain that that is making stuff up. Like you have to. You have to know everything. You have to know what the news, wait, something now. Check now, check now, check now, right. So I mean, everybody, everybody I know is like I'm allowed the news two times, I can scroll three, like a little bit, that our brains are like children, right, exactly the same way. So, oh, my gosh. 

44:50 - Dr. Andrea Moore (Host)
Exactly. I love that. Well, thank you. I want to respect your time. Thank you so much for this conversation tomorrow. This has been so powerful. I feel like I could talk to you forever, but let you go. Are there any Last words? Or like, let people know where they can find you, because you do what? When I see your post? I'm sorry, it's been a lot less your posts. They're amazing. Yeah, yeah, I'm aware people find you, or any just last words that you? 

45:15 - Tamar Gersh (Host)
yeah, for sure. Yeah, so I mean I do, I hang out on Instagram and they can, and they can also find me on my website. I can give both of those. You can kind of link it into the show notes, but didn't our coaching comm? And on Instagram it's tomorrow, tribe underscore coaching, I think. I think tomorrow, tomorrow, tribe underscore coaching, we long it'll be in this show. 

45:38
Now I visit this show notes. In the show notes I will. I would like to share one thing, my newest offer that very much have this time period in mind that I just launched. The door is just open yesterday. I was kind of been talking about it so officially launched before that, but I've created a three-week co-working collective. I'm calling it picking ass and taking names co-working collective space virtual for for folks to come together and you know I'll be guiding everybody and coaching everybody for a little bit, for an after, in terms of Like kind of to get into work mode and all those kinds of things, and then we're going to be working together. 

46:18
That's definitely, I think, across the board. People here and they're all over the place have been like I cannot work, since Everything like I just every time I want to for the things we're talking about, that we want to check you get you sit down to work and then you want to check the news and then somebody that you know, and so this is to get our, our work, mojo back, and so it's called kicking ass, taking names, co-working collective. Three weeks we start January 8th, go to January 25th, two hours a day, 9 am Eastern time and I would love anybody who wants to join in and be a part of a community that wants to support each other and Get these like projects that have been very hard to get off the ground, getting in the mouth the ground and getting our light and our work into the world. I'm going to kind of hard to get things going. 

47:06 - Dr. Andrea Moore (Host)
So, yes, oh, that sounds amazing, absolutely beautiful. Yes, beautiful, yes, we will link to all of that in the show notes. Go check it out. And you said beautiful emails too. I highly recommend getting on her email list as well. 

47:22 - Tamar Gersh (Host)
Yeah, thank you so much. It was such a so beautiful to be here. I really yes. 

47:28 - Dr. Andrea Moore (Host)
Thank you so so much.