Body Harmony: The Secret Sauce to Pain Alleviation

Have you heard conflicting advice about whether or not you should be paying attention to your body and addressing the physical side? Or maybe you should be ignoring your body completely and just focusing on your emotions, and you are left just feeling confused and, through this, all are just building up resentment and frustration at the body that you live in and just wish you could trade it out for another. If so, this episode is for you. This episode is actually clips from a recent training that I did, all about body harmony and its importance in the pain healing process. I had so much positive feedback, so many breakthroughs and so many realizations from this particular training that I wanted to share it with the world. So, no matter what the original source of pain is, understanding the concept of body harmony is essential to not just healing but also living a life that just feels like you have this powerful partner in it which is your body. Welcome, welcome, welcome to episode 78 of the Unweaving Chronic Pain Podcast. I am your host, dr Andrea Moore, and I am on a mission to help those who feel like their life is shrinking in pain, expand it back out again and, most importantly, get back to doing the things that they feel passionate about and from a place that feels aligned and fulfilling. If you know anyone who is struggling with chronic pain and you know that they have unique gifts to share with the world and they are feeling stuck or held back by chronic pain, or if this is you yourself, please share this episode, listen in and, if you find it helpful, please give us a rating on Apple Podcasts. This really helps others find this podcast and it means so so much to me to see how much it is impacting those out there. So thank you so much for listening. Whether this is your very first time or you have been an avid listener for a while, I cannot even let you know how much I appreciate you being here. 

All right, let's get into today's episode. Today we're really going to be talking about body harmony, and first I want to show you a picture of your nervous system. This nervous system is literally embedded in every part of your physical body. All right, the nervous system is not only in charge of every movement you make and providing input back to your brain about the environment. Right, like there are little receptors on every nerve ending that tells you, tells your brain, what the temperature is, you know how something feels the amount of pressure that's happening. It tells, it's constantly telling the brain things about the environment. That's how the brain knows anything about the environment, because it is trapped in a cage inside right, like it can't actually see. It's all from receptors that are from the nervous system. But not only does it do all of that, it also stores memories. It is a gatekeeper as well of what actually gets up to the brain. So, for example, you know, when you first put on a shirt you might feel the fabric on your skin, but after a while you don't keep feeling it anymore and that's because your nervous system gate keeps what is being sent to the brain. For people who have, like high sensory or it gets very overstimulated, their gatekeeping is a lot less right, like a lot extra of extra things are being sent to the brain, so they get very overstimulated very easily because that that gatekeeping isn't happening. But the point is is your nervous system is deciding what gets sent up to the brain from the environment and it also makes predictions. 

For instance, the other day I was cooking and I had a few things going on and at one point I like hit a you know a hot pot with like the back of my hand. It was no big deal, it's just like ow. But then a few minutes later I went to grab a lid like this that was sitting on the counter and the second I touched it, like grabbed it, I was oh my gosh. And I jerked my hand back on it like screaming to ow my husband's. Like what happened? I was like nothing, like I was grabbing. It was a cold pot. The lid was cold, but my so my nervous system made a prediction in that moment and the temperature receptors got activated. It was just wrong, like it was totally fine, like it was room temperature. You know, it was like a little on the cool metal side, right, but my brain in that moment interpreted as hot, just probably from what I had done previously. Right, it was just like, ooh, lid's hot, bad, don't touch. And it's a reflex, it's so quick and it's something that we don't have conscious control over. And that is because what our nervous system, my nervous system, was, holding, that memory of pot equals hot. Don't burn self, protect self. 

And if you've ever like tensed up and just like walking into a creepy place or just around someone who just gives you a weird vibe, right, that's your nervous system. It's just holding onto something that is like it's just already pre-giving you a reaction. It's making a prediction about something that could happen. So you can start seeing, just by this, that separating your nervous system from your actual physical body is like absolutely impossible and kind of pointless because they are so integrated in, just in terms of like the walking into, like the creepy place. For example, if our nervous system is sensing danger, it's going to make it so all of your muscles tense up, right Like you're getting into this protective response, and so your nervous system very much drives how your muscles are firing as well. So we're always going to be looking at both the physical body and the nervous system. Is these very, very intertwined things? Because they literally are Like your nervous system is literally intertwined inside your muscles. We cannot separate it out, and so I want to address this really physical aspect here. 

A lot of people who are in chronic pain this is not everybody, but this is a common thing I hear is like my muscles are so tense Some might resist mind, body work or looking at things from this aspect because they're like I can physically feel that I've been told that my muscles are tight and that's, I've been told that's what's creating my pain. Or maybe I've even been told that I have certain muscles that are weak and that's what's leading to my pain. Maybe you've been told your alignment is off or that you have a curvature somewhere that's not supposed to be there that way, right. But here's the thing in the vast majority of cases where these things would make a difference for pain in a true purely muscular tightness or imbalance because I'm a physical therapist, like I have seen things where it's like you release a muscle, pain goes away, like that exists. I'm not saying it doesn't, but you see results actually look really quickly, like it works really well. It's like you do an intervention and you get instant feedback. You go to the massage therapist and the muscle releases and it stays released. You know, for a good chunk of time. It's not gonna stay released forever, probably if you're not addressing other things in life, but like you get good results, like it felt worth it. The other thing is you do strengthening exercises and you get stronger. You feel the difference. That's something that within three to six weeks of consistency you just feel stronger. I mean I've actually had people within a session. When you start to work their muscle in a proper way, they feel stronger, like within that moment. Right, it just works. I don't know how else to say it otherwise. Like you see the results pretty rapidly. 

But your nervous system can impact these things, your nervous system that is fearing you. Sitting down at your computer to write or to speak on your passions can make your muscles tense up like there is a threat. And all of a sudden, when that's the happen, when that is the underlying reason for the pain or the tension is more from a nervous system level usually a massage doesn't release it you don't see the same benefits. You might even have the practitioner if you've gone to a bunch and been like man, it's just not responding like I would think it would be. Or that you kind of noticed they're getting a little frustrated at it. I'm like huh, let me try to attack it this way, right? Or maybe they'll hear things like oh my gosh, your whole body is just so tense. Or they'll be like oh my gosh, just relax, just relax. 

And you're like I'm totally relaxed and you're like arm is just up in the air. No, no, you're not. And that's just often because you're so used to this baseline level of tension that your nervous system is holding that. You just can't. You don't even know what it feels like to be relaxed which is me, by the way. There's no judgment there. I'm totally that. I was totally that person that would be like arm stick straight. I'm like I'm totally relaxed and it felt like I was, until I actually felt like what it was to like to be relaxed and I was like, oh, that was not relaxed at all. 

But often you're doing all the right things but you're not seeing the results because it's not addressing the underlying reason and your nervous system is not going to allow a muscle to release if it feels like releasing that muscle or muscles is unsafe, and so if your nervous system thinks it has to brace up to protect you from the world, they're not gonna release or any releases will be very short-term. You'll hear this a lot of like felt so good while I was on the table, it felt so good while I was getting the massage and it's like you literally get up and it's like everything just tenses back up again. And the other thing is it can actually also affect muscle strengthening and I won't go into depth about that. If you this is something that resonates and you want to hear more. Feel free to ask. But oftentimes we can't properly strengthen muscles when we're in this tension as well, and so you just won't. It's like man, I've been doing all the right exercise and the right strengthening and it's like the muscles just aren't strengthening or responding again. 

Often there can be other things at play, but often it is from a nervous system standpoint, because it is stuck in hypervigilance. So this is all just really important. Something to consider is that if you're like, yeah, but there's this physical thing going on, if you've been doing things to address it hopefully you have, if you're here you've tried things like physical therapy or strengthening or massage or whatever is needed for you, and it just feels like you're not getting results, then you're in the right place because it's something that is in the nervous system, because it's going to override all of that. But this doesn't mean we ignore the body. What I have found is there's a lot of approaches that tend to take the pain or tend to neglect to take the pain triad into account. Some focus solely on the body, but from the aspect of correcting dysfunctions, we talked about that a little bit and that's like what I was originally trained to do as a physical therapist. It was like find all the stuff is wrong and fix it. And again, if there is something that is wrong and needs to be fixed via physical therapy, like it works very quickly. You already would have known if that worked, while other approaches they claim that pain is purely mind, body and basically recommend to ignore the body. 

The way I see it is that we are spiritual beings put in bodies here on this earth to have a human experience, and having a disharmonious relationship with our bodies becomes a massive barrier to living that human experience, to living a life that feels fulfilled, and it will also keep us in pain, because when we have a distorted perception of our body, then our nervous system literally feels like it is living in the very thing that it is being told is the threat. You're looking at your body and it is like I hate this body, I don't like this body I'm in. Then your nervous system is like holy shit, I'm stuck in this thing. That's like I can't get out of and it's not okay to be in right, like no wonder your nervous system is terrified. It would be like trying to have a relaxing spa weekend in a house that was like super haunted. Like you can't relax when you're living inside something that feels scary. Here's the thing we can shift that. We get to shift that just by seeing that one. It is not your fault if that is the way you've been looking at your body. You have been taught to look at your body that way. That is a learned thing On top of it. 

Often, what happens then is that pain is actually guiding you to pay attention to your body. First, I wanna just cover what is disharmony. It describes a state where there is discord or conflict or incongruence among different elements. It signifies a disruption in the natural order, resulting in a sense of imbalance, tension or unrest. It is the opposite of harmony, which signifies a state of agreement, cohesion and a peaceful coexistence. That's harmony. 

So what happens is many of us are walking around in a state of disharmony in our body, whether it is because we are resentful about having pain, about how our body feels, about how it looks, about its level of strength, or if we feel like we should be a different way, whether that's stronger or taller or thinner or curvier, whatever it might be for you. And here's the thing this is not about needing to love your body. That's awesome if you're there, more power to you like amazing. But I feel like that actually can add an unnecessary pressure and layers. If you're nowhere near there, it feels like, oh my gosh, well now, crap, until I love my body, I'm never going to get rid of my pain and it's like, nah, that's not the case at all. Don't worry, just relieve you of that right now, because we can be in harmony with something and still feel like pretty neutral about it. 

So just as different species of trees can coexist in a forest without needing to love each other, we can find a similar balance in our relationship with our bodies. In a forest, for example, various trees and plants and fungi and all that good stuff each grow side by side, each having unique characteristics and strengths and needs and ways that they intertwine with each other and support each other. They aren't deeply in love with each other, but they contribute to the ecosystem's overall health and vitality and can peacefully coexist with each other. Similarly, we can embrace our bodies in a harmonious manner without necessarily needing to feel this overwhelming sense of affection or love. Of course, if you're there and that feels accessible, use that to your advantage. But I also want to recognize that I know that that can be a really challenging piece for a lot of people. So it's okay if you're not there. 

We recognize that our bodies are the vessels of life. They allow us to experience the world. Without our body, we cannot experience the world, we cannot move through this world, we cannot engage in activities, we can't achieve our aspirations. So often our relationship with our bodies gets clouded by the perception that caring for them is this tedious obligation that's to do this stuff like God damn it. I got to feed myself again today. There's any moms here. It's like, oh my God, I have to feed them dinner again. Good Lord, and, by the way, I'm very guilty of that. 

We tend to approach movement and nourishment and self-care as these things that are necessary because we have some perceived shortcoming. I have to care for myself, because something is wrong with me or that we're broken. We start thinking of things like exercise, of like exercise because I'm weak or because I'm in pain or I have to eat well because I'm not the right shape. However, when we can reframe how we look and care for our bodies, we can shift the way we see this, because imagine if we could see these different actions as an opportunity, a deep honoring and respect for this very body we have been given and are living in and are going to help us experience the world. We cannot experience the world without it. We are stuck in this body, whether you like it or not, so having a harmonious relationship with it is actually going to be the very thing that helps you live life in a way that feels aligned and just amazing for you. When we can shift from this obligation to opportunity, we can transform how we perceive self-care. 

It's not about fixing what's broken. You're not having to take care of yourself because you're broken. It's about nurturing what is already whole, because you are already whole and perfect exactly as you are. Just as a gardener tends to a garden to bring forth its full beauty, we can tend to our bodies to unlock their inherent thriving when we can embrace self-care as a pathway to empowerment and allows us to celebrate the capabilities of our bodies and the journey of growth that they enable us to go on. It's a privilege to care for ourselves, not a burden. It's a chance to sculpt this vibrant and fulfilling life, and so, when we can treat our bodies with respect, with nourishment and self-care, it is a way of acknowledging their role and enabling us to lead fulfilling lives. And again, just like the trees in a forest, we can coexist with our bodies, supporting their well-being and their functioning, even if it's not a relationship that is built on intense love. 

So our bodies require care. We can't inner work our way out of needing to nourish our bodies. We have to feed ourselves, sleep, move and hydrate daily. But when these things are done from an energy of feeling like it's this massive burden, it just leads to that threat and tension in the nervous system, like we've talked about. And again, I know I am just as guilty at times for all of a sudden realizing that I forgot to eat. You know, by the way, I never thought I would be someone that forgot to eat, and then I became a mom and apparently that's just what happens Then being annoyed right at my body when it needs to eat again. But when and these things are going to happen we are not about perfectionism here. There is no perfectionism that is needed, I promise that. But when it's happening over and over and over, without any intention around or awareness around it, it does teach the body that its own needs aren't being respected and it's literally just unintentionally gaslighting ourselves. 

We talked about how the body cannot care for itself on day one. It cannot get up and feed itself. You have to decide to do this for it. So it can feel very threatening to the body if it's not getting the care it needs. It's very survival is literally at risk, and this will put our body in a fight or flight or into a hypervigilance mode that amplifies pain and threat detection, which means that sensors are like up Right. Anytime you're in fight or flight or like threat detection mode, you start to see not just your own body, but it's like everything about the world starts to seem scary. So you are more likely to interpret something, that something, as a threat that isn't a threat. You're more likely to be triggered, and I think we all know this feeling at the most literal level. 

Okay, think about when you are hangry. Who's been hangry before? You know what that is. You're hungry and it makes you angry, right, hangry. Think about how much more likely you are to like overreact at something or misinterpret something and just like explode in anger. And it's just because you're hungry. And then you like eat and you're like oh, I feel so much better right now. That was really what happened to happen, right, not like I'm not trying to say that properly feeding yourself heals all your pain and trauma. It doesn't. 

But trying to heal when basic nutrition and hydration and sleep and movement needs are unmet is one heck of an uphill battle. We just can't forget that we are also living in a physical body. It also means that if you're here in this world to disrupt, to do things that aren't deemed patriarchy approved, even if that's just breaking cycles within your own family, if your true self feels threatened to doing that right, well, of course your nervous system is also going to be on extra threat mode if it's also just not being cared for Again. But we can work with all of this. This is all stuff that we can gain the skills to nurture, but your body really does need to know that it can count on you to care for it, because it can be just too much for it to navigate both the internal threats of it not being cared for and then also the external threats of whatever is going on in our environment. Right, that's a lot. 

So you want to just notice what, where our focus is. Here's the question Would you really tend to your body if you had no pain? So often, pain is the only thing that has worked to get us to pay attention to our bodies. Maybe it's due to a world of busyness, of distraction, of disconnection, of hustling, of productivity obsession, or maybe when you were a kid, the only time you really were paid attention to by your parents or by caregivers is when you were hurt or sick. Or maybe you've been on a constant search for healing, for worthiness or enoughness, and so much so you've actually created more disconnection from yourself, because even that very journey is just enforcing that you're not enough as you are. 

Whatever it is, pausing to just be and meet yourself exactly where you are and notice that you are here in a body becomes a really rare thing, if it ever even happens. It can feel really hard and uncomfortable to do because we're not used to it, and often our lives move at a pace that is so much faster than our nervous system can keep up with. And the good news is is we don't have to slow down every aspect of our lives, but what is needed is bringing in moments with intention to slow down, to pause and to just take the time to just be with our bodies, just for small moments of the day. They really don't ask for that much, just for small moments of time throughout our days and weeks, and often no matter what the original reason for the chronic pain was. What happens is that, whether it was present before pain or occurred after, pain is when the only time we attend to our bodies is in response to pain. Then our body learns pain is necessary for caring for yourself. Sometimes we only stop and rest because pain forces us to. That was me. Or the only time we really move and stretch, just get out and move our bodies is because, oh my gosh, pain is here, I need to move. 

Maybe you're someone who sits at a computer for a long time and it's not until your back starts aching that you start to get up and move, or your neck starts hurting where you're like okay, now let me go do my stretches because I'm hurting. If all your body knows is that pain equals getting cared for, then it just becomes a learned, habitual pattern. It's nothing you've done on purpose, of course, because if your back starts aching when you're sitting at your computer, it is great to get up and move, like nothing's wrong with that. It's just you don't want that to be the only time you're attending to your body. Our brains and nervous systems learn patterns. It's just how they operate. It's just like the pot example. It's like it learned a pattern a pot equals hot in that moment, right, like there's no logic to it. There is no morality or judgment around the patterns that your nervous system has learned. It's just like Pavlov's dogs learn to salivate when they heard a bell. 

Our bodies learn that pain equals care, pain equals being tended to, and so, therefore, pain actually ends up being this incredibly valuable asset for your body. We really want to just understand. If this is the case, okay, but as we discussed in the first day, when we have the shrink response to pain, right, the R stands for resentment, or resentment or running from resisting pain. All of these further create tension in our body and move us away from the very outcomes we desire, and the same applies to care. If we begin to approach caring for ourselves from this place of well, I rested before you forced me to like, I got up before I felt the pain, but yet you're still here. Pain you still came on, or damn it. I fed you this nutrition, nutritious meal, body, so now you should have more energy, right? It becomes this transactional nature then. That puts us in that same energy. 

Caring for our bodies cannot be transactional. Taking care of our bodies goes beyond a simple exchange of efforts for a reward. In a transactional relationship, there's often this expectation or this expected outcome of receiving something in return right. However, caring for our bodies is not just about making an investment to obtain a specific outcome. It's about embracing a whole self approach to wellbeing. Caring for our bodies involves a deep understanding of the interconnectedness of the pain triad the physical, mental and emotional aspects of our wellbeing. It's not just about exercising for a specific goal or eating well to gain muscle. Sure, these things could be, if they've determined, they are aligned for you and they feel like a really positive again aligned value to move towards. Yeah, they can be a part of something that you are working into, but it's just one aspect. What we wanna make sure we're doing as an overall sense is having an overall nurturing of our vitality and a balance in our bodies. It's also about caring for our bodies as an act of self-respect and self-compassion. Doing so acknowledges that our bodies are valuable in and of themselves and deserving of care, regardless of the specific outcomes. I'm gonna repeat that last part, because it's really big. Caring for our bodies is an act of self-respect and self-compassion. It acknowledges that our bodies are valuable in and of themselves and that they deserve care, regardless of their specific outcomes. And so just breathe. That in. 

Julie says I've definitely noticed this pattern in my own life. For 40 plus years I didn't listen to my body until pain was to the level that I was debilitated. Yeah, because we aren't taught to. We are not taught to and, like we've talked about, we are actively taught to like, ignore our bodies, and so pain just becomes this really, really successful vehicle at getting you to pay attention. Only, it just doesn't always work out in the exact way that we would like. 

I wanna just introduce some ways to start amplifying body harmony today Because, let's face it, some aspects of body harmony it's not this easy. Oh, just start respecting and caring for your body right, like, or just start being compassionate to your body. Like it sounds nice, and I also wanna acknowledge that that's probably might not come super easy, maybe in certain aspects, but in other aspects that can feel incredibly challenging and especially if there's been a history of disordered eating, diet cycles, exercising to change the way you look from this place of unworthiness or feeling like you need to look a certain way, or constant hustling to feel enough or to receive external validation. Chances are there are deeper layers that deserve to be moved through with introspective inventory and subconscious work, like there are parts that deserve to be heard and helped moved out of this, like limbo state that they get stuck in, and not only will that bring more ease to your body, but it also brings a lot more ease to these parts. But remember, we don't need to heal all of that to start bringing it in today. We also don't need to heal all of that to have pain alleviation. 

So what I wanted to provide you with today is ways to start amplifying body harmony, and so let's look at this list right here and I want you to just like find one that feels most doable for you or it can be something else entirely, of course. So one example might be just taking a moment to place your hand on your heart and to take three breaths and just let your body know that you're learning to listen. You can admit that it's hard for you. You can admit you don't quite know what you're doing yet, but just letting it know you're learning and you're here even noticing how it responds to that. Another one might be just as simple as using the bathroom when you first feel it. Who here does the whole thing? Where you're like I know I got a pee, but I'm gonna pee later, hold on, I'm busy. That's just a way of just being like. I hear you body, I got you, I'm gonna go Drinking water. Before you get thirsty. This is when I hear a lot from people. As you know, I obsessively drink water. I didn't know ways right. It's always like oh my God, I've gone all day and I haven't drinking water and now I'm so thirsty, let me gulp it down. It's just like being like I'm gonna give you the water before you even ask. 

Playing a favorite song, smelling a beautiful smell, touching your skin these are all sensory experiences. Just engaging in a sensory experience brings you into the present moment. It brings you into your body and it can be in a way that often feels very it's often a very safe way to come into your body and notice what it may be maybe different senses or do that more. You know, maybe doing some of this deeper work or maybe trying to bring in touch feels a little threatening. That can be one that can, for some people does not feel accessible, but maybe smell Like I will almost always have like essential oils by me. Just like, ah, just like. Brings me right into my body, just wakes up my senses. Just like, taking that moment to be like, ah, I'm gonna just experience this. Music is an awesome way to do this too Just playing a favorite song just for the heck of it. 

Curling up and reading a book for fun, or doing something else that is like a purely pleasure based thing that has no productivity associated with it. It's not a self development book, right Like. It's like reading you know, trashy fiction if that's your thing, find something that's like there's no, there's no point to this other than just getting to like do it. Or maybe it's just curling up and laying in the sun while it's still summer. It's like what is something where you just like don't allow yourself to do until it's like well, until I've done this thing, what's something that you can indulge in now, just for the sake of it? Just making like a favorite cup of tea that you just never take the time to do something like that Right now, I'm going to encourage you to pick something, something from this list or something else that just got inspired and I'm going to encourage you to write it down and see if you can commit to doing this and notice what you even want to commit to. Is it just once a day, once a week? You don't even just like pick what feels really doable of like, okay, I can do this. Another good one is, every time you like wash your hands after going to the bathroom is just looking into your own eyes in the mirror, I'm just taking a moment to be like hello, I see you, like you don't have to do anything else, just noticing yourself. And if you're someone like me who tends to, you know, maybe pick things or be like oh, that sounds wonderful to do, and then just forget and write it on a post-it so you can stick it somewhere where you'll remember. 

And today we talked about the importance of body harmony and caring for and respecting our bodies, and throughout this all we've really emphasized this crucial aspect of doing what is right for you and doing what is right for you and your body. And in the phase that you are in right now along your journey, some bodies need a lot more rest, some might need more movement or action, some may need more just really honed in time of deep compassion. Others might be yearning for actually acting out on passion, using their voice in a way that has never been allowed or it hasn't had full permission to do. Some bodies are holding onto deep ancestral trauma and need compassionate work with their subconscious to help it see the safety of the present moment and just being in the body and just living. Others were just never shown that they have the capability and resilience to step into adulthood and still have an inner scared child taking the lead that doesn't want to take responsibility anymore, that is so burned out from having to like take on roles that were too big for them and they're still leading their way. Still, the one like kind of leading our adult self and that's exhausting for them and that's often behind burnout, is a scared inner child that has taken on way too much responsibility, and so it might be about bringing in your adult self to take over that role and let your inner child know that they can just play now that they aren't, they don't have to be responsible anymore, and no matter what it is or what combination of the things that I mentioned or something else entirely, I am confident that what you have learned throughout these trainings will absolutely shift the trajectory of your journey. And, let's be real, you may temporarily forget some of these things, but your bones will always know the truth. You cannot unlearn these things. You will always be guided back if you allow yourself to be. And so, yes, you can take what you've learned here and begin to apply it and see powerful changes. 

And, as I said on the first day, knowing it's not the same as doing. This is one of the biggest mistakes that I see people make is thinking, just because they know what to do, that it is enough to get the results. It isn't the same as being or embodying this work. This work is experiential, it is dynamic, it is presence and being. It also cannot be done in a silo, and for so many of us, needing to go at it alone and feeling, you know, overburdened already and feeling like we are really doing it by myself, I just got to learn how to do this is one of the patterns that actually perpetuates. 

Pain Like that is a trauma response in itself. And this work isn't a one and done thing Just like we have to feed ourselves, go to the bathroom, shower, brush our teeth right, we have to revisit these, but what I can say with absolute confidence for myself and for my clients is that when we engage in this deeper work, in this introspective, inventory element of working with these parts that might be holding onto fears or holding onto beliefs that are no longer true or serving them, when we work with these, it makes all of those things so much easier. It makes the body harmony aspect feel harmonious and useful. Part of our life experience ends up being in the joy and presence of caring for ourselves, of just living our lives, and I know that can be really hard to even step into or imagine as possible. So if you feel like that is like what and that doesn't even feel possible, I can hold that for you, that truth right now, if it doesn't feel like one that you're able to hold for yourself, and because we live in a world of not just distraction but also a world that is actively trying to pull you from your connection with yourself, a world that is actively working against you being the truest version of yourself. Because, let's face it, exploitative capitalism cannot well exploit people. If you are deeply connected to yourself, it doesn't work so well Because all of a sudden, you don't need to buy their products to make you feel better about yourself, right? That is why we are constantly being pulled from ourselves. So, yes, the truth is, so much of what we are surrounded by is purposely trying to erode that connection with ourselves and ensuring that you continue to come back to it. To be surrounded by community that is on the same journey is one of the biggest. I don't like this word hacks, but I'm going to use it. I know of because it fits there, right. And here's the thing is pain is again often serving as that reminder to come back to ourselves. So in just that act, we begin to alleviate pain. We are social beings. Healing happens in community. 

Not only does our neuroscience support it, as in, we have actual mirror neurons that light up when we see someone else perform an action. They are like our brain's way of mirroring what others do. So, for example, if you see someone smile, your mirror neurons fire up as if you are smiling too. That's often why you know, if you hear someone laugh, like laughter is contagious, right, it's just, it's lighting up those things in ourselves, and the reason we have that is because it helps us relate to each other, to understand others and to empathize with their emotions. So when someone is sharing an action or an experience, we actually are mirror neurons light up as well, even in response to a verbal sharing, so that ours can light up as if we were actually performing the experience or described action. It's a way our brain processes and connects with stories and experiences, even if we aren't physically witnessing it in real time. 

But this also means who we are listening to and how they are sharing matters, and while the concept of I don't know if I've ever heard that of like the average of you're the average of the five people you spend the most time with that gets thrown around a lot in the self development world, I feel like there is truth to it, but it's also a simplified notion. It doesn't take into account the complexity of humans. This concept, though, can absolutely be used with intention, to your advantage when you choose to be a part of a community that is committed to thriving growth and whole self integration and wonderment, because that means we are exposed to it right when people are speaking of their experience. It is from a common language, it is from a common goal, and when you are in a group that is committed to desire for each and every person to feel safe, being the truest version of themselves and making room for all of the parts that might be in resistance and fear to that. All of a sudden, we have all of this beautiful healing that is activated and that can occur. That is exactly why I created the pain to power program. So I want you to meet Issa. She was someone who just went through the 12 weeks of the pain to power program and she had this to say. She said I'm so immensely grateful for the group. 

Before I found this work, I was in an intensely avoidant relationship with my pain. I try not to think about it when it wasn't there, and when it was, I was terrified. I just thought my brain has faulty wiring. But the whole self integration approach made me realize that my pain was trying to protect me from the life I had settled for, one that kept me small, limited my choices and kept me in unhealthy relationships Once I knew I couldn't go back. My business is now thriving and I'm about to move across the country and go get my big dreams. Thank you so much for your important, powerful, life-changing and deeply compassionate work. 

And she is just one of so many examples of how this work can open up our whole lives while alleviating pain, and so, within the pains of power program, everything is customizable to you, and those that get the biggest transformations are the ones that are willing to put aside their egos and ask for support. I really want to emphasize that piece the ones who are no longer willing to tolerate where they are and instead are willing to make the choice over and over and over again because it is one we keep coming back to to expand their lives back out again. I truly hope that episode has made you look at your body in a completely different way, even if it's just planted seeds and you don't yet know how to act on any of it, or if it's really started to create some powerful shifts within already. Both are absolutely amazing and if this is something you want, support in, this is exactly what I do and what I support people through. 

So if you're looking for support along this journey because you do not need to do this alone and in fact, I would don't recommend doing it alone that in itself is such a common trauma response. It's thinking we have to do it alone or thinking that we don't deserve support, when in fact, you do. So if support is something that you're looking for and you just want to figure out what that might look like, if this could be right for you because this work is not right for everyone and I have absolutely no hesitations in telling someone that and sending them to something that could be better aligned for them go ahead, sign up for a free consult, called the link is in the show notes and let's chat, let's figure out what the next best step is for you on your healing journey, and let's do it together. Alright, see you next time. 

Transcribed by https://podium.page